
Have many things to post down today, but the moment I start typing out my thoughts, I just get lost in how to start. Took 2 hours thinking and reflecting and yet, I am just lost for words now.
It was only until today, that I realised how beautiful the view of stars are from my house. I am fascinated by stars, and love them extremely alot! I could just spent days of sleepless nights just staring at them.
Today, is a very long and tiring day. I am still in search of myself. I wasnt who I am today before, I just totally lost my smiles and laughter ever since March 28. Now, I have let past be past. I learnt how to pick it up, therefore, I have to learn how to let it go. I have since let it go already.
Ever wonder, why when you are attached you always wish to be single, and yet when you are single you wish to be attached. Haha. Why does life just love fooling around with us. I realised one thing in the past few months, I realised that love is an extra to everything. To make you extra happy, extra sad, extra anger, extra... ...
Then I started thinking, Love is just for people who cant be contented with their life. Who can ever be contented in life? Certainly not me!
For me, as a girl who has always listen to heart, is certainly confused over my affairs of the heart. Thats because, my heart is just equally as confused. I guess, I was hurt by love itself, therefore I am afraid of it. I need to learn how to be strong, and confident of myself. I need to learn how trust. I do adore singlehood, having my own freedom, but sometimes, its just gets boring, and most importantly I hate loneliness.
Now, I am stucked with "to love" or "not to love". I dont know the answer yet, but in time I will. Till the time where my heart is no longer confused, till the time when I have straighten out my thinking to make my choices, I will be search of the grace I once used to be. The once always smiling and cheerful grace filled with laughter.
Till then when I find back myself, then only can I bring laughter to someone else.