5 Weeks have passed, and another 7 more weeks to go.
It may seem that I still have a handful of time left here, but time flies, really really fast.
These days, I am starting to think again.
About what I should do when I go back to Singapore?
Should I just try to enter the local university? Or should I just go out to the working world?
Sadly, what I have to do soon isn't what I want to do.
Today in class. We were ask to write a paragraph on what we want to do.
I wrote:-
"Most importantly, I want to study in Kyung Hee University. I want to study korean language and Geography. I also want to work in a Korean Farm. I will work hard towards my dreams."
Do I know what I want to do? YES! It's not like I don't know what to do. It's not like I'm lost with no direction. But, I can't just go for it, not yet. Because it's not my decision alone to make.
You know what sucks even more! There this scholarship I can try to apply to. Who knows my dream can be fulfilled just next march! But I'm stopping myself. The application forms are all here on my hands. Waiting for me to fill it up.
I've waited the entire year for this scholarship application to open. And my whole head is just hestitating and saying, "you're not ready, do it next year."
WHY? Is it so hard to get two of my teachers to write recommendation letters? Is it so hard for me to come up with a pledge, a study plan and an introductory essay?
Everytime, I think about this. I just feel like breaking down and cry.
It's really stressful planning my future.
And then, I'll start running away from reality again. Hais.
Why can't I dream like normal people. Just go to any university, get a degree, find a job to feed yourself, get married, have kids, retire when you're old, and die.
It may seem that I still have a handful of time left here, but time flies, really really fast.
These days, I am starting to think again.
About what I should do when I go back to Singapore?
Should I just try to enter the local university? Or should I just go out to the working world?
Sadly, what I have to do soon isn't what I want to do.
Today in class. We were ask to write a paragraph on what we want to do.
I wrote:-
"Most importantly, I want to study in Kyung Hee University. I want to study korean language and Geography. I also want to work in a Korean Farm. I will work hard towards my dreams."
Do I know what I want to do? YES! It's not like I don't know what to do. It's not like I'm lost with no direction. But, I can't just go for it, not yet. Because it's not my decision alone to make.
You know what sucks even more! There this scholarship I can try to apply to. Who knows my dream can be fulfilled just next march! But I'm stopping myself. The application forms are all here on my hands. Waiting for me to fill it up.
I've waited the entire year for this scholarship application to open. And my whole head is just hestitating and saying, "you're not ready, do it next year."
WHY? Is it so hard to get two of my teachers to write recommendation letters? Is it so hard for me to come up with a pledge, a study plan and an introductory essay?
Everytime, I think about this. I just feel like breaking down and cry.
It's really stressful planning my future.
And then, I'll start running away from reality again. Hais.
Why can't I dream like normal people. Just go to any university, get a degree, find a job to feed yourself, get married, have kids, retire when you're old, and die.