There wasn't anymore reason.
Before you, my life was like a moonless night.
Very dark, but there were stars — points of light and reason.
And then you shot across my sky like a meteor.
Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty.
When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black.
Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light.
I couldn't see the stars anymore.
And there was no more reason for anything.
- Edward Cullen to Bella.
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Profile.
♥GRACE 03 02 1990
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Posting.
Saturday, September 29, 2007, 10:45:00 PM
LOVE IS MAKING A FOOL OUT OF ME!
Dear darlings, First time in my life have I ever rejected someone. Second time in my life that I have been stuck in relationship problems. ALWAYS it happens before my paper, GEOGRAPHY. WHY DOES LOVE HAVE TO MAKE A FOOL OUT OF ME?!? Maybe the phrase "Love comes when we least expect it" do really exist. When I want it to come, it doesnt. When I needed somebody by my side, no one was there for me. When I decided enough was enough, I just wanted to be alone, to live my life independently, to focus more on my studies, LOVE KEEPS KNOCKING ON MY DOOR! Dont you find this feeling freaking irritating, fustrating, making your mind go twirling round and round and for a person like me not wanting to hurt anyone, just have to do that. I just needed is one person, not so many. Maybe I should just snip off my hair and see how many will just love me for who I am and not for my looks! Call me CRAZY if you must, this is how much LOVE is to me. I am spoilt for choices! I want a guy who I can shower lots of love to. A guy who is worthy of my love. A guy who will love me more than anything else in this world, for I know I will also love him more than myself. A guy who understands me. Is that one guy that difficult to get. Maybe he is in my line of choices, just that I refuse to take a second look, for I know that one person in my heart already. Why cant I just admit to myself, to reality that I love him. This is clearly what my heart tells me. Why isit so hard to just love him secretly, why are there so many things stopping me from loving him. Maybe because, fate dont want me to wait in pain any longer. Being single is great, unlike being attached, i get chances of being woo-ed by guys, them paying attention to me, showering their 'like' for me. Yet what I am looking for is just not 'like' its love. A never-ending love. For the next person I ever be with, I never will ever want to stop loving him. Because I know, once I start, my love for him will never end. Till then, I will just sort things out with my heart. The past, the present and the future?
Friday, September 28, 2007, 10:36:00 AM
A MUST READ ARTICLE!!!!!!!!!!
I read an article last night, which send shivers down my spine. The article < Super Volcano will challenge civilization, geoglogist warn> is a must read article. Dooms day is coming! that is a feeling that almost all of us will have instilled inside us. Yet, what makes us believe this? What will dooms day be like for us, humans. http://www.livescience.com/environment/050308_super_volcano.htmlIn this article, doomsday will be a situation of a SUPER VOLCANIC ERUPTION. It is predicted that this eruption is predicted to be from the a supervolcano in the YELLOWSTONE NATIONAL PARK! "Yellowstone National Park spans an area of 3,472 square miles (8,987 km²), comprising lakes, canyons, rivers and mountain ranges. Yellowstone Lake is the largest high-altitude lake in North America and is centered over the Yellowstone Caldera, the largest supervolcano on the continent. The caldera is considered an active volcano; it has erupted with tremendous force several times in the last two million years. Half the world's geothermal features are in Yellowstone, fueled by this ongoing volcanism. Lava flows and rocks from volcanic eruptions cover most of the land area of Yellowstone." -WIKIPEDIA We are like in an era where this SUPER ERUPTION is 20,000 years due, for it occur every 600,000 years and we are living on the 620,0000th year since the last eruption. The last eruption which blew off the top of Krakatau is one famous eruption which many of you could have heard about it before, we heard about how the eruption could be heard around the world, the effects of the eruption. In the caldera, lies Lake Toba, which is a popular tourist attraction today. Yet, what we didnt know was, according to this article, it almost extinct us, humans. Now, the predicted Super Volcanic eruption will be times more devastating than the one of Krakatau. Even if the Yellowstone National park super volcano were not to explode, there are too many possibilities for a SUPER VOLCANO eruption in other volcanoes around the world. Does it send you the chills and shivers down your spine? What I find it amusing about this is, that the Yellowstone National park is a manifestation of a hotspot below the crust of the earth, in geographical terms, it a result of a mantle plume that cuts through the continental plate of north america. The famous ones know are the Hawaiian island, BUT that is a mantle plume cutting through the Pacific plate(oceanic). Who would ever have though a hotspot volcano could ever be so devastating as to that? I was afraid of hearing all these, but Darwina told me, "we should be proud that we are geography students, imagine the people around who arent aware of all these." Indeed its a blessing to know about our earth, and here I am writing this post to bring awareness to those people living under the rock. Its inevitable, but at least we should be aware of what is happening around the world, afterall, THE EARTH IS OUR HOME!!
{madness; confusion; uncertainity}
Dear darlings, The title of this post speaks clearly of my feelings. Yesterday, something happened, a thing which I had long for ages to happen, yet only when I moved on, it happened. Its totally madness and all I know is, things can never be the same as before again. "There are 6,470,818,671 people in the world. Some are running scared. Some are coming home. Some tell lies to make it through the day. Others are just now facing the truth. Some are evil men, at war with good. And some are good, struggling with evil. 6 billion people in the world, 6 billion souls, and all you need is one." All I just need is one person, who loves me the way I am. To cherish and treasure me, to pamper me, to shower me with lots of love, care and concern, to be there for me. A someone who understands what is give and not take, someone who understands what is unconditional love and understands me. My expectation for love is very demanding, WHY? Because I know, I will love and treasure him with all my heart. Dont you find it amazing that some people, they just say these small little things, once sentence and it could change the way you feel about them in an instant. Small little things that could hurt you so much or make you fall deeply in love forever. It changes everything, nothing in you is ever the same again, even if you dont know it, it does happens. I have realised, sometimes following one's heart is just so tiring. It makes me more confuse as it brings me furthur than reality itself. Yet, the day when I stop following my heart that carves my own unique way of life, my heart died, I am just not me anymore. Because I lost myself when I stop following the every beat inside of me. Maybe, just maybe, I should believe in myself once again, start listening to my own heart and follow the road which I trully want to go. With that, I shall continue my journey with life.
Wednesday, September 26, 2007, 7:15:00 PM
4 down, 2 more to go.
Dear darlings, Finally finished my Math and Economics paper. I was feeling all jittery last night, afraid that I couldnt pull through my papers today. Thanks those who comforted me last night, it did made me feel much better. I have the confidence of passing my Math paper, and it better not disappoint me. I studied math in expense of my Economics, thankfully, I was able to do my Economics. I want to at least maintain my grade my Economics. I am feeling very light right now, maybe its the sense of relieve I am feeling and also finally being able to catch a sleep tonight, a really good night sleep. But, I still have My geography and Art paper to go, in which that 2 paper is a must for me to pass. Therefore I still have to work hard! All the best to those taking accounting tomorrow!
Tuesday, September 25, 2007, 6:58:00 PM
clarice is such a dummy! Hahas.
Hellos darlings, I just had fun playing with my sister, Clarice. Before you think I am so bad lets start the ball rolling. Half an hour ago, after stepping out of the bathroom, I was greeted with my just awoken sister. She had this drowsy look in her eyes, and definitely her mind was unclear, for which explains the reason why she thought she was late for school. She asked me:"where is mummy?" And I said:"Mummy left already." With that she started running off the find her uniform and rushing off to the toilet to have a quick shower and wash up her face. Which I went back to my room and laugh my heart out, before running downstairs to inform Kimberley about that. The fun all ended when she suddenly entered my room and asked me where was her artwork, then I burst out laughing. She find it weired, thus going back to her room and checking the time. Alas, the whole fun which lasted 20 mins ended. I had my GP and Chinese paper already, with Math and Economics waiting for me tomorrow. I shant say much about my first 2 papers as I need to do some last minute revisions for tomorrow's paper. My 2 important paper, which I want to pass is tomorrow. GP and Chinese paper, wasnt that bad with a little bit of hiccups here and there. I recieve a card from Mr Andrew, he is such a great teacher. It was also very nie of him to make us each a card. It was my pleasure to be taught under you. I really appreciate your teachings and the card. The card had 2 poems, one on 'change' and the ther on 'someone touching my heart'. Beautiful poems they are. I shall be off to practice on math and understand my economics. CIAO~
Sunday, September 23, 2007, 1:32:00 PM
Promos is just TOMORROW away.
Dear darlings, The promotional exams starts tomorrow, the day where no one ever wished it will come. I am prepared, but not well prepared, especially with my Economics, which I sacrifice just to practice math. I better get a pass for math, or I will be angry with myself. Read through my economic notes of elasticity and some model essays just now, will continue it after writing this post. I am so hungry right now, havent eaten my breakfast and lunch. Waiting for mummy to bring back my lunch. The blog which I was supposed to open, its already opened, but I wont release the URL just yet, because the skin is awfully ugly, shall find a more interesting one. Tonight, I will be celebrating my Grandma birthday, but dont know if today is the actual date. And I got nothing to blog anymore, going off to study. CIAO!
AT THE BEGINNING
We were strangers Starting out on a journey Never dreaming What we'd have to go through Now here we are And I'm suddenly standing At the beginning with you No one told me I was going to find you Unexpected What you did to my heart When I lost hope You were there to remind me This is the start Life is a road And I want to keep going Love is a river I wanna keep flowing Life is a road Now and forever Wonderful journey I'll be there When the world stops turning I'll be there When the storm is through In the end I wanna be standing At the beginning with you We were strangers On a crazy adventure Never dreaming How our dreams would come true Now here we stand Unafraid of the future At the beginning with you Life is a road And I want to keep going Love is a river I wanna keep flowing Life is a road Now and forever Wonderful journey I'll be there When the world stops turning I'll be there When the storm is through In the end I wanna be standing At the beginning with you I knew there was somebody somewhere Like me alone in the dark Now I know my dream will live on I've been waiting so long Nothing's gonna tear us apart Life is a road And I want to keep going Love is a river I wanna keep flowing Life is a road Now and forever Wonderful journey I'll be there When the world stops turning I'll be there When the storm is through In the end I wanna be standing At the beginning with you Life is a road and I wanna keep going Love is a river I wanna keep going on.... Starting out on a journey Life is a road and I wanna going Love is river I wanna keep flowing In the end I wanna be standing At the beginning with you.
Friday, September 21, 2007, 11:22:00 PM
Dear darlings, Feeling really tired and sleepy now. Went home straight after math extra lesson today, with the intention of touching my economics, yet I ended up watching TV and pampering myself with rest and this computer is a distraction to me once on. I happen to chance upon a documentary on art central, 10PM, there is always good shows on a friday night, but it might interest a geography student more than the rest. Today's documentary was on desertification. What causes it, the problems, consequences and the impact on countries affected. I learn also about the Death Valley, the hottest part in the world. If it happens that you dont know what is a death valley its the name of a DESERT. I have a happy news today, I passed my math test on functions! Its like a finally one math test pass. Thank you to all who had painlessly taught me. And Thanks to myself for putting in effort and believing I can do it. Okays, I shall not blow my head off here. There is a math paper waiting for me on Wednesday. I realised I have been talking about studies from the last few entries, lets add some spice in today's post. Lets talk about what I want right now in this stressful period of time. In this stressful period of time, where I dont even have time to take care of myself but just burying myself in books, I want someone special to be right here next to me, giving me encouragement, praising me for doing well, to cheer me up in my worst mood, someone who will love me. Staying single is fun, lots of time for yourself and studies, nothing to worry about except yourself. But, right now, in this period, sometimes I am too stress to even think properley, thus losing my way, my confidence, my trust in myself, I realised to have someone next to you, to be there for you, you are a very lucky person, that is if it is ceteris paribus, and also me not losing my concentration on studies. Hais, I am still stuck in between what I want. I am just like the person in the video I posted in one of my recent post. I worry for the roads not taken, worrying too much of regretting, thus unable to even make a decision. Thinking about all these just makes me more confuse and SLEEPY. I am going to sleep. CIAO~ ANYWAYS, I am LOOKING
high and low for people to accompany me for EVENING STUDIES tomorrow. Call me up if
you're interested. (:
Thursday, September 20, 2007, 9:05:00 PM
SATISFACTION.
Dear darlings, I just came back from a last minute math tuition and I shall spent a few minutes resting with a very brief blog entry. Last start from the happenings of yesterday. I decided not to attend school yesterday, to stay at home to do some self studying and REST. Most importantly, it was for me to be able to attend the math tuition in the afternoon, and I did. I begun to understand differentiation, however its just the basics. Then I went to parkway to have my dinnner at Mos Burger, then unexpectedly pass by the sport shop, which was hidden at the corner. Guess what I saw there, PRINCE TENNIS RACQUETS! I was elated, been finding the racquet for so long. In another 11 more days, when my mum credit more october allowance into my ATM, I shall go and get the racquet. Hahas. She has already allowed to be sign up for the tennis course!! Yeahhh!! I went back with school on a fresh mode, was choosen for the MOE interview again, and it felt like hours inside there, with me stoning. But I learnt quite a few values and manage to hear interesting stories from the person. Went home straight after school, then, it dawn upon me that it has been such a long time since I was such a good girl. Yet upon reaching home, i recieved a call from my tution teacher saying that there will be a math class in the night. So I decided to go. He gave me a math "bible" that he compiled himself, save me all the trouble of searching for formulaes. Will keep that book as my precious. I still suck at differention of logarithems, but at least I know how to do it now. I just feel a sense of satisfaction within me after doing math. Differentiation doesnt seems so bad to me anymore, I hope... Going to mug on my economics, CIAO~
Wednesday, September 19, 2007, 11:10:00 AM
WATCH this cartoon clip it presents THE PROBLEMS OF WHAT STUDENTS FACES TODAY..
Tuesday, September 18, 2007, 10:10:00 PM
Finally understood how it feels like to be STRESS.
Dear darlings, I was moody today and is undergoing a terrible headache. I guess, this is what everyone calls it, STRESS. Neither in my life, nor studying for O levels, have I ever experience stress before. Stress is a common word everyone hears before an examination, but to be able to actually experience it is difficult. Maybe, me being worried about the promos, my grades, squeezing all my studies made me able to experience it. Today, I reflected on how I have been living my life for these past few weeks. I have definitely been studying hard and playing really hard, however, I dont balance it, therefore its pointless. The stress inside of me can be described as painful, sometimes to the point where I am driving myself to the corner and feeling so depressed. The stress put on you by others is more painful then what you put on yourself. Teachers' expectations, my parents expectations, my expectations and most importantly maintaining my mid year grades, or even better. Its only a few chapters of each subject and I am feeling so stress, what about A levels? I dont have the confidence in me of passing my subjects as of I had during the Mid year examinations. In fact, I feel afraid of the exams, even though I know I am able to pass. Seeing everyone studying so uptight makes me feel I am lagging behind. My math is hopeless at this point of time, and whatever negative thoughts I think of at this point in time adds up to my unwanted worries. Because of all these its making my emotions unstable, which is really serious for me, cause doctor had advised me not to, as I get affected by all these so easily. I should seriously start to begin having faith, building up my confidence and believing in myself. Sometimes, enough is enough. I have forgotten one belief that I have in the midst of studying, and I am thankful I am remind of today. "Never be afraid of failures, because I've tried." With all these efforts I put in, no matter if I ever reach my 2A's and 1B goal, I did tried, disappointed I will be, but One failure doesnt mean a whole life of failures. From today onwards, I will not be stress and pressured anymore, I shall believe in myself! I know I can and I will, with smiles it will accompany me through these 2 weeks. (:
Monday, September 17, 2007, 10:37:00 PM
I AM PLAIN DUMB IN MATHEMATICS!
Dear darlings, Today was a day filled with excitement, why? Cause its maths, Maths AND MATHS! LIKE REAL! When will there ever be excitement with the existence of math. Its a no wonder why I suck at that subject so much. Not only that, I even caused several people to be confused thanks to my ZERO knowlegde in math. Me studying math is totally PLAIN DUMB! But heys, I am born with my left brain bigger than my right, no choice. I pity those who put in plenty of efforts making me understand differentiation, even though my memory span is like 1 minute, but its appreciated. Tomorrow will be math too, AGAIN. With me putting in SO MUCH effort in Mathematics, and still being PLAIN DUMB simply demoralises me. I was almost close to bursting into tears today. I really really need to practice more sums, and doubling my math tuition. Its just 2 weeks more of extreme studies before I can really play hard. Okays, enough rest for me, its time to continue my ECONOMICS, otherwise I wont be able to sleep. CIAO~
Sunday, September 16, 2007, 12:22:00 PM
BLOG UPDATED;NEW SKIN
Dear Darlings, I changed my temporary blogskin already to this beautiful artistic skin, its still halfway done though. I also realised I did something really SMART when I decided to just delete the whole of my prvious skin. Because, all my friends links and my whole tagboard disappeared along with it. How clever of me to do that. I am also in the process of making another blog, but it wont be some sort of a personal blog. It will be on global awareness. Will update you people when its ready and on the earthquake post I want to write on, it will be posted there. It will take at least a week to be finished! CIAO~ Enjoy your beautiful Sunday, before the stressful and hetic weekdays come again.
Saturday, September 15, 2007, 10:47:00 PM
Dear Readers, As you can see, my blogskin have been change, temporary perhaps. Promotional exams is just a week away. I am not yet fully prepared, but thankfully, I managed to start studying. Night studies in school are indeed much more effective than studying at home. Though tiring, but its worthwhile. Just had a math test yesterday, the ONLY math test which I took time off my hetic schedule to study. There were some hiccups here and there for the test, but I probably could manage a pass. Then, it will be my first pass for math up till now. Oh. Did I ever mention how much I love Inequalities and Functions and am still hating Logarithems and Differentiation. :P I spent the whole of today resting. Went to parkway and bought for myself an Economics essay book. I have investing alot on guide books, especially for Geography, but didnt have any book for Economics, so its worth it. On Wednesday, something terrible happened. For the first time in my life, I ever shouted at the teacher. What caused this 'rudeness'? It might have been my PMS? STRESS? or could it just simply be that on that day as I was running a fever, she pissed me off so much. Just because I couldnt stand it anymore and broke into tears, does that mean I am weak? Maybe I should have patience, but tolerating you till then, wasnt I patient enough. I aint good in that subject, and at this crucial point of time I couldnt even manage to draw out anytime to bother about it. Yet I still would like to thank you for caring and putting really high hopes on me. Recently, thought I really liked someone, but, I guessed I was wrong. If you're wondering who it is, it's 'MATAHARI'(a malay word for SUN.), and that will be as far as I would tell you who it is. He is really a nice guy, well, I realised that every guy I like are nice. The reason why I like them? Its because they are nice thats all. Then, I realised it was time for me to not fall for someone so easily. A guy being nice to a girl is normal, thats because all guys should be like this(apparently that are some exceptions). Right now, I dont know who is the perfect prince for me, but when fate bring us together, I will know what is love. Its been 5 months since I am single, and I would have probably forgotten what is love. Sometimes, wished that I had my prince, right here for me, especially when I am troubled and sad. Yet again, I dont know who is my prince. I have no one in mind right now. My schedule is too hetic for me to even have any and I dont think its the right time to have any too. I have a really big topic on earthquake to talk about on my next post, which I dont when can I ever find time to post it. Dont worry, it wouldnt be like giving a geography lesson on earthquakes. It will be on the recent quakes in Sumatra and linking it back to Singapore. Hope you readers(whom I dont even know if there's any) will look forward to it. I'm going off to BED??? STUDY???... ... Anyways, CIAO! :D
Saturday, September 8, 2007, 9:00:00 PM
Dear Readers, I am so freaking angry with myself. My concentration span was like less than an hour. I just realised, I really really need to start working hard, I can no longer slack. I cant even remember my geography notes! And, I have tons of test next week, 2 geog test, an econ test and a math test. I just realised something, every single time near the exams, something will just have to crop up and affect my mood alot. I am feeling so fustrated, even had darwina and Hafizah being pulled down by me. They took time off to study with me, yet I ended up distracting them. Sorry babes. We even stop studying and played pool. I know what I should be doing, yet I just cant put it into action. Can someone just slap me awake from my dreamland! I am so hating my heart right now. Sometimes, following your thinking is much better than listening to your own heart. I wish I can be strong and stick to what I believe in, yet, everytime I do so, myself will be the one ending up to be hurt most. Why does my heart wants itself to be hurt? Who doesnt want to be happy?
Friday, September 7, 2007, 9:30:00 PM
This is one of my all time favourites, yet I never actually did pay attention to the lyrics. Yesterday I finally did, and it relates alot back to my life. I guess, many others will feel the same too. ReflectionLook at me You may think you see Who I really am But you'll never know me Every day, is as if I play my apart Now I see If I wear a mask I can fool the world But I can not fool My heart Who is that girl I see Staring straight back at me? When will my reflection show Who I am inside? I am now In a world where I have to Hide my heart And what I believe in But somehow I will show the world What's inside my heart And be loved for who I am Who is that girl I see Staring straight back at me? Why is my reflection Someone I don't know? Must I pretend that i'm Someone else for all time? When will my reflection show Who I am inside? There's a heart that must Be free to fly That burns with a need To know the reason why Why must we all conceal What we think How we feel Must there be a secret me I'm forced to hide? I won't pretend that i'm Someone else For all time When will my reflections show Who I am inside? When will my reflections show Who I am inside
Dear Readers, I spent the last few days catching up on my work, especially math. Right here I would like to specially thank someone for taking time off to coach me for math. Thanks alot! Its appreciated. (: I still have long long way to go for my math. At least I know what is logarithems now. Hate that topic, and the next one will be differentiation, but I will learn how to love it. My POT was supposed to be finished on Tuesday, but up till now, I'm still not done with it. Despite my early math tuition tomorrow, I will finish it today, by hook or by crook. Since I have been wasting myself away during the weekdays, I had made up my mind that I shall spent my saturday and sunday doing intensive studying. Actually had plenty of stuff to blog about, but as I drag longer and longer of what to write, I practically dont know how to start writing it out. I will blog about it, when my heart feels like it again.
Monday, September 3, 2007, 10:39:00 AM
Dear Readers, I am almost finishing with my Prince of Tennis episodes. After that, I will put in 100% in my studies, and shan't be bothered with menial stuffs. I know I have been wanting A's from long time ago, but will always end up with a B. This time, I Will aim for a high A, so that at least I will get a low A. Oh well, it will work out somehow. I wont know till I try right! Hahas. I was writing halfway about what happened last night, but I deleted it halfway, I do want to blog the hell out of him, but Hoang and Sheralyn is correct, just let him be, losing a good friend is devastating, even though that doesnt give him the right to hurl such a remark at me. Its jolly well time for me to learn: How to control myself; Improve in my sentence structuring for bloggin benefits; Stop contradicting myself; Lastly to search for my mistakes, and learn from them. Mistakes are there to shape me into a much more better person :D
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Affiliates.
Alicia ♥
CY ♥
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Chia Sin ♥
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Credits.
Icon : Deviantart.
Layout : iPaperhearts
Quote : Twilight Saga.
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