There wasn't anymore reason.
Before you, my life was like a moonless night.
Very dark, but there were stars — points of light and reason.
And then you shot across my sky like a meteor.
Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty.
When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black.
Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light.
I couldn't see the stars anymore.
And there was no more reason for anything.
- Edward Cullen to Bella.
|
Profile.
♥GRACE 03 02 1990
|
Posting.
Friday, August 31, 2007, 9:42:00 PM
Dear Readers, Finally after a long time, I uploaded my pictures! Not that many pictures, but at least theres something to make my blog "alive"! Hahas. Teacher's day celebration was cool! Having being a backstage crew and now a performer this time round, I finally learnt to realise the hardwork of the "behind the scene" people. Of course without the performers, there wont be a concert, but without this people, how can a concert run? Its no easy job to be a backstage crew, well, not for a girl like me. Its realy tiring, even if I only did 2 days of duty. But at the end of the day, I still love performing than doing these jobs. Hahas. Well, it was an eye opener for me. (: Kelvin and me. Me, Johnathan and Lincoln. Darwina, Carolyn and me. After the performance, it was cleaning time for us interns! Hahas, and I temporary became cinderella. With Carolyn being fary godmother, Oh she is one mentor that is really sociable and nice to us interns X)Then next, sabrina as the mouse, Darwina as the pumpkin, frog, lizard, servant, step sister......Hahas. And Lincoln as the "prince charming". We had a competition on who throws the most rubbish! Hahas, it was hell lots of fun! After that went out with Sher and Melissa to Orchard to watch Ratatouille. Really cool and funny show. The graphic is superb, and there is also a moral from the story. You should go and catch it! Went around shopping, and I ended up at Kinokuniya, where I spent so much! Grrrr... Saving $$$ time. Hahas. Okays, now let the pictures do the talking. A really cartoon picture of me. Hahas. Some old pictures:
Wednesday, August 29, 2007, 5:57:00 PM
Dear Readers, Its a wonder how I never did notice my last post was so long. Did my art test today, 3 essay with each 10, 30, 10 respectively. Yes! A 30 marks essay question for me! I was stunned. I never wrote a 30 marks essay before. Grrrr. My economic presentation got me only a 19! I am so not happy with my marks! Its Hoang birthday this coming Sunday, and I havent send him the letter yet. Shhhh. If he ever finds out, I am so going to be dead, cause I was supposed to send it 2 weeks ago. But I definitely will post it tomorrow. Hehes. The only thing that is keeping me moving on for this week is that next week will be holidays! Wohoooo. Not really an ideal holiday though, with promos coming up and it being crammed with extra lessons. But oh well, its still a week break, and it definitely beats being in school. For the past few days, I have been going around asking how to choose a tennis racquet. Thinking of taking up that sport together with Kimberley. Hey! I now I am such a fan for the anime/manga prince of tennis, but thats not ultimately why I really want to learn tennis. But watching the show did push me towards the first step. From young, I have always find tennis really cool. And its only now I am starting. Now I am just thinking, should I start it now or after the promos? I read something on NAVIGATOR yesterday. It said that before we go into a relationship there is 3 things that we have to know. There I learnt from the first point which I have never will notice have it not been for that magazine. It said that, your other half is not responsible for you own happiness and life. It is you who is responsible for your own happiness and your own life. Because ultimately its still our own life. When we love someone, we often tend to 'forget' loving ourself. Thus, we become dependent onto our other half. Therefore, we often will take it for granted that, they are supposedly to provide us with the happiness we want and also our 'perfect' life. But we are WRONG! It is our own life, why should we put our life in the hands of our other half? If loving them, is capable of stopping the love for yourself, why love in the first place? Thats basically because, how can you love another person when you dont even know how to love yourself. It is your own happiness, created only by yourself. How much happiness you want, depends on how much you give it to yourself. X)
Monday, August 27, 2007, 8:03:00 PM
Dear Readers, Its been such a really long time since I last post, and yet, I had formed this really bad habit of laziness of writing a blog. Despite all these laziness I face, when I am sad, I will never fail to come to this page and start typing out all my sorrows. While now as I am trying to buy some time off from the buffering of the POT movie, I would like to express my thoughts on recent events. Firatly, I have gotten my promo's time table last week. It will be around mid-end september. This week is also the last week of school. By right, I should be happy, yet I feel sad, a few of my classmates have already withdrawn from MI, and theres more to come. The friends I have been with for 2 months, not here around me, it feels weired. I guessed, I have already accustomed myself to their existence around me. Right now, I feel lonely. To my dearest friends who will be leaving or have left: Though our meeting may not be long, but through meeting you, you have made a difference in my life. I thank you for being there, and appreciate all that you have done, I wish you all the best in your road ahead. I wil always miss you guys! Forget me not! For HIM if he ever sees this: Thank you for believing in me. You never knew how much it meant to me, and never will you know. A friend who is willing to believe in who I am, is a rare find in this now materialistic world. Those words for me to be kept in my heart, will always remain in there as a memory. All the best. Now I shall come back to my life.I took my chinese Oral today. Teacher said I have to improve on my fluency of my reading. But my conversation was not bad. Hahas. Quite unexpected for me, I thought it was supposed to be the other way round. Stupid braces, its giving me problems in my speech. Not only in debating and now also want to interfere with my Oral! Grrrr. I have gotten used to my single life, ever since 29 March 2007. Its only 5 months of singlehood, yet it feels like years. But I am able to do things which a person in a relationship cant experience, that is loving myself. In a relationships, we often think of our the other half alot that we often forget ourselve. I took this special opportunity, to reflect on myself, and also to start learning how to trust. I also have learnt that I am ME, and no one should change the way I am suppose to be, much less me changing myself to accustom other people. I also learn that I should have pride in myself, and NEVER again should I ever look down on myself. I have to believe in who I am, and what I am capable of being. I have also learnt that I have to push beyond my limits to scale greater heights. Most importantly, I learnt that without these dear friends around me, all these efforts will be futile. Can a person in a relationship learn what I have learnt? They can, yet its very rare, cause a relationship is always about the other half. Yet though I am sort of enjoying myself, sometimes, just sometimes, I will still ponder upon the thought of when will I ever say those 3 words again. Then I realised, the grass on the other side is always greener. I am feeling quite of an emo this few days. Hope there will be much brighter and cheery days to come before me.
Tuesday, August 21, 2007, 8:51:00 PM
Hais. I am so disappointed in myself. My grades have been dropping, and I cant get into the mood for study. Why is it that even though I try so hard, I just cant be able to catch up. How many more "failures" do I have to face before I can be happy? Today Mr. Ng told the class about the scholarship programme, my chance, my dream, is so near yet so far. With this kind of results I am producing, and whats more, with still a failure in my H1 subject, maths, what are my chances? This final exam, I have to give it my all. The URA scholarship I have been aiming for, one day, I will get it, no matter how hard it takes. This is my only ticket for an overseas education. I have been depriving myself of sleep for the last few days, thanks to the Prince of Tennis. Somehow today I managed to control myself. I have to, otherwise, doomsday for me will be here in a flash. Hahas! Ever since term 3, especially for the last few weeks, I find myself dreading school, I have to even drag myself out of bed. I feel very tired and sometimes stressful. But I have amazing classmates that never fails to brighten up my day and most importantly thank you for being by my side! Hehes. Its deeply appreciated! (: Juging from the number of blog entries I write recently compared to the past, you can definitely see my laziness. Writing blog entries, improves my english. Ever since coming into MI, I learnt many new vocabularies, and I am able to test these new words in my blog, its just like a sentence structuring exercise. Blogs definitely do improve one's english, unless it is written in broken english.
Saturday, August 18, 2007, 9:30:00 PM
Seeing such a picture must have definitely frightened you. This picture was from Sheralyn. A picture tells a thousand words. The reason why she sent me this picture was because I was sad and terribly disppointed in LIFE. I was shock when I first look at it. But yet, when I saw the girl on the car, I felt sad. I felt ashamed of myself, that how could I, still here, healthily, be scolding life for being unfair, for being selfish towards me. I do not know that girl, but I do know, she wasnt just any other girl. She was a bride, it was a big day, in fact, it would be the happiest of her life. The day that she would spent the rest of her life looking back. Yet, she never made it through that day. It made me realised, how lucky I am. Those words written below it may be too shallow for such a big incident like this. But those words, remind us how to appreciate life. To understand how fortunate we are. To know that life is that fragile and that we are to live every single moment of it without regrets. This taught me to love life, what about you?
Dear readers, Everyone is working so hard for the promos, thus, I also have to put in lots of effort and start working hard right away! This post is about my study planning, so skip it if you must (:Today will be the first day where I will start studying seriously again. First up my list will be geography-weathering. I have got an upcoming test on monday, which I have to score. For my intuition has already told me, the mass movement test I have already failed. Therefore, I must work doubly hard to make sure that this test pass well, so that it wont pull my overall marks down. I seriously do hate weathering, but oh well, I just got to make myself love it! I wont be starting economics anytime soon, for I am mangaing well for my economics, therefore theres not much a hurry. Geography is my first pirority. The A grade that I always wanted. By hook or by crook, I will get it for promos.
Friday, August 17, 2007, 8:46:00 PM
Wheeeee...... X) Judging from the way I started this post, you definitely could have seen the enthusiasm in me right now! Spent the whole of yesterday and today at home, because I was down with a throat infection. Yet I wasted this opportunity to buck up with my work, at least I finished the incomplete prince of tennis series. Ahahas. Very fustrating to watch an incomplete series and got to wait it to be release. Right before I came to this page to write this post, I saw on the front page of yahoo featuring this year top US universities. Princeton top the list for the 8th consecutive year. Going to Princeton University, is one of my impossible dream. Speaking of which, this will be my main topic today. Why do I still dream of going to Princeton when I already know its impossible. What more its the top university in USA, what are my chances? Almost a Zero! Yet why do I still work with that dream in my head? Even though I know its an impossible dream, but afterall its still a dream. What does a dream do, what is a dream? A dream is:1) A series of images, ideas, emotions, and sensations occurring involuntarily in the mind during certain stages of sleep. 2) A daydream; a reverie. 3) A state of abstraction; a trance. 4) A wild fancy or hope. 5) A condition or achievement that is longed for; an aspiration. 6) One that is exceptionally gratifying excellent, or beautiful. These is what makes up a dream. A dream has the strength that will make us fight for it. Even if you disagree with me, but for me, a dream do works its wonders. It inspires me, spurrs me on when I slack off and most importantly encourages me to work much harder when I fall. So what if its impossible. At least I have a goal to work towards to. Its better than I have none at all. So what if its Princeton? At least I dare to dream, I believe in myself. Whats most important, at least I did tried, and I know that I will never regret. A dream, is my hope. Do you dare to dream?
Tuesday, August 14, 2007, 8:15:00 PM
Dear Readers, As I write this post, tears are falling. Family fights are common, but given the stubborness, unrespectful characters of my sisters, and the childish, bad temper parents I have, fights are worst than common. Though I am just an on-looker, seeing how this fight has escalates from the tantrums valerie threw during dinner. I feel messed up inside me, so tired, so wanting someone I could share my sorrow with, a shoulder to cry on, yet, I realised I had none. I just want someone to understand how I feel, more importantly that someone to be my parents and my sister. I tried talking to my sisters, yet would could I, as an elder sister get from my disrespectful sisters of mine? How many times have I tired to talk, yet, get SHOUTED at. Sometimes, being the eldest, I feel lousy. I am the eldest sister, yet, I am shout at. The fight escalated till the point where my dad started screaming at Clarice for the slightest thing, and then they start quarrelling, over a thiny thing. If I had not intercepted, I wonder what the consequences would be right now. Yes, they do get hurt from all the quarrelling and fighting, I care, thats why I feel hurt, feel sad, but do they know I am hurt. I needed someone so much to talk to, till I am right here pouring out everything. My math, no matter how hard I try, how many times I practise those sums again I will always be lousy in it! Why is it that no matter how hard I try, nothing will seems right. I feel so depressed. Yet, who can understand. She's smiling, is she happy? She looks happy, but it doesn't matter, let me tell you something not everything is as it seems.Can anyone even understand this? Let me tell you then, my smiles are the most precious to me. Why? Because I smile only when my heart is most hurt.
Sunday, August 12, 2007, 6:53:00 PM
Dear readers, I have been slacking off my posting for the past whole week. Enjoyed the last few days and especially my holidays. However, I have slack off my studying, especially with a geography test tomorrow that I up till this moment, I am still not giving it a damn! But I also learnt many things, one example is my math! Hahas. First time in so long, I attended math tuition twice! I am proud of myself that finally I can tackle quadratic inequalities myself, and I am also quite good at that now. AHEMS! Howevers, I am such a failure with graphic calculator with those sums. Today, met up with Melissa and Fiona for church. Really want to thank Melissa for bringing me to church and experience god once again. I really did enjoy myself. For the past few days, including today afternoon I have been out shopping with my mummy. Bought quite a few new clothes. There is a huge mid year sale going on, go check it out yea! On national day, celebrate it with a big feast with my grandparents, uncle, aunty and counsin at my grandparents home. After in which was shopping at white sands and century square. Hahas. Guess what I did last saturday? Ahahahas! Take cares!
Friday, August 3, 2007, 11:44:00 PM
Dear Readers, I am seriously having a really bad mood swing. I guess, its the tiredness thats killing me. Anyways, its friday, and I will be dead tired after a whole 5 days in school pack with projects. This weekend I also have my Art project to complete as well as to research on the GP-secular culture stuffs. Came back home not too long ago from my grandparents home. Its my grandpa 77th birthday, if most of you still dont know why I am there. Really enjoyed myself. My grandma bought the cake for the first time. All of us was wondering what kind of old stylish cake will she buy, just like the pandan cake from bangawan solo. Surprisingly and thankfully the cake wasnt a pandan cake, its a coffee cake top with strawberries, chocolates and plenty of cream. Wonder how much fats I have put on. Everyone had fun catching up with one another. I had a chat with my small cousin, David. Oh boy, he can really talk and ask plenty of question. Hahas. Everyone seems to be so busy nowadays, then, shall make use of my this free spare times to sit down and start on my revision proper. Its only 5 weeks to promotional exams. Its seems a huge amount of time, but considering the stuffs I have to go read through, understand and memorising some of the stuffs, there's seriously wont be enough time if I continue to laze around. Its seriously time to start, right now at this moment, but now too late, and I sleepy. Hahas. But I DEFINITELY will tomorrow. My aim for the promos will be 2 A's and a B. I believe in myself that I definitely can achieve those scores, as long I am constantly revising. Hopefully, my hard work will pay off. Everyone lets work hard together also okays and achieve the desired grades that we want. (:
Thursday, August 2, 2007, 9:35:00 PM
Dear Readers, I only did topic two today from the given 2 topic in my last entry. Its right at the bottom.Today was a long day. I had to take the freaking 2.4km run again! Why? Because that teacher didnt key in my retest score. Oh well, I still ran even its my 3rd time already. I seriously cant believe my luck. But, today, I asked Sheralyn to count the rounds for me, and also have some classmates there to count the no. of rounds and also to cheer me on. Thanks! I really appreciate it alot. I pushed myself really hard today, and secured a 15.21 mins timing! This time I made sure it was recorded down. Hahas. Theres no way I am going to run a 4th time! G.P was really fun today. When we were entering the classroom, Mr. Andrew was so sweet and nice, and that was scary. Indeed it was! He had this presentation class specially for A6, in it contains our primary school picture! AHH. Imagine the horror in everyone face at that time, but we manage to have a good laugh. Took some pictures with darwina on our way home with Hong's handphone. What is love? Once upon a time, seeing the person I love happy, I will be contented already. Now, I realise love is much more than just seeing the person you love being happy. Its much more than just loving. It's about understanding and trusting. Its about giving and not taking. But why is it that when someone only gives and yet never recieves are not contented with just that? Why do we have to at least recieve that fair treatment? Because of unlimited human wants? or is it because, I dont love you as much as before anymore? That I will never understand. Faithfulness is what everyone is looking for. Yet do you know, faithfulness though is a virtue can have its vices too, especially to the givers. If only things are just so easy to forget and be forgotten. If only love was just a game for me. I didnt choose to love you, neither did I ever want to love someone who will only hurt me. But why, still I unknowingly did that time and time again. It isnt my choice, and yet I am stuck in this paradox of mine. Loving someone is never easy, no one ever said it was, especially to the person so close to you. It isnt easy to just forget, but time will heal all wounds. But yet again, time is capable of understanding how great love is. I really did try very hard, to break this heart of mine than to ever let you break it. To no avail, not only did it not break, it got stronger! Why is the affairs of the heart just that stubborn and troublesome? Everybody has the right to love and so even if we are aware that we are going to be hurt, yet we still gamble with our own heart. Because we love even if we will be crying.Is it wrong to love someone? I am not a girl who just changes off to another guy that easily. If I am so, you have underestimated me. You will never understand how special you are to me, because you never tried to understand.
Wednesday, August 1, 2007, 9:39:00 PM
Dear Readers, I forgotten to being my mango today for art. For the first ever time, Nellie didnt asked me to redo my artpiece on fruits. Haha! Economics was crazy time for Darwina and I. We were laughing and laughing all the way over stupid stuff. Attended artclub today for silk painting. The starting I was in a bad mood and then towards the end it got better. Finished at 5pm today. One of my latest art clubs meeting. Hahas. I had a hard time thinking of what I wanted to draw. Then, I settle for the hanging flowerpot, with my imaginary flowers. Hahas. But oh well, had fun interacting with Beatrice and Nellie, despite the horrible "funeral" sound not far away from the artroom, which is as described. =X Nellie drove Sabrina and me home. Hahahas. Thats saved lots of time for us. I have 1 more of my IRP worksheets to do. I am just one of the very 'LUCKY' 5 to get choosen to hand in my files to the HOD. GRRR! To think I could have enjoyed my wednesday. Alright, its been once upon a time ago since I last wrote a titled and inspirational entry. It wont be that inspiring though. The Essence of being a human is that, we make mistakes, we accept mistakes, find ways to resolve mistakes and then move on.. Everybody has the right to love and so even if we are aware that we are going to be hurt, yet, we still gamble with our own heart. Because we love even if we will be crying.I was thinking of elaborating over this 2 points, but I have been dragging it too long and the desire to blog it out now has wore off. Tomorrow I will blog it! PROMISE. (: Does anyone want to go for a study session and to chill this saturday? I WANT TO GO DOWN TO TOWN.
|
Rants.
|
|
Pasts.
May 2007.
June 2007.
July 2007.
August 2007.
September 2007.
October 2007.
November 2007.
December 2007.
January 2008.
February 2008.
March 2008.
April 2008.
May 2008.
June 2008.
July 2008.
August 2008.
September 2008.
October 2008.
November 2008.
December 2008.
January 2009.
February 2009.
March 2009.
April 2009.
May 2009.
June 2009.
July 2009.
August 2009.
September 2009.
October 2009.
November 2009.
December 2009.
January 2010.
February 2010.
March 2010.
June 2010.
July 2010.
August 2010.
September 2010.
November 2010.
February 2011.
|
Affiliates.
Alicia ♥
CY ♥
Charissa ♥
Chia Sin ♥
Darwina ♥
Diana ♥
Dinesh ♥
Emerlyn ♥
Ian ♥
Jia Wen ♥
Munirah ♥
Michelle ♥
Maxime ♥
Qiao Ying ♥
Sabrina ♥
Sheng De ♥
Sherril ♥
Shikin ♥
Shilah ♥
Victoria ♥
Wan Yu ♥
Wei Liang ♥
Yi Min ♥
Zhi Wei ♥
|
Credits.
Icon : Deviantart.
Layout : iPaperhearts
Quote : Twilight Saga.
|