There wasn't anymore reason.
Before you, my life was like a moonless night.
Very dark, but there were stars — points of light and reason.
And then you shot across my sky like a meteor.
Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty.
When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black.
Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light.
I couldn't see the stars anymore.
And there was no more reason for anything.
- Edward Cullen to Bella.
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Profile.
♥GRACE 03 02 1990
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Posting.
Tuesday, July 31, 2007, 10:02:00 PM
Dear Readers, Woke up with a heavy heart today. I was very sleepy, despite the early night I had the night before and waking up late. G.P managed to put some liveliness inside me. P.E was totally fun. Hahas. We were plaing invasion games, which requires, strategies, blah and blah. Most of all, we have to work together as a class. It was awesome! Presented the Economics project today! Was a little nervous though, but other than that it went well. Was down with a bad flu since yesterday night, and it got worst during mathematics class just now. I just couldnt stop sniffing. Hahas. Went to see the doctor just now. I forgotten to ask him for a M.C, a wasted trip. Oh well, tomorrow is a short day so I just have to bear with it. I made a stupid decision just now by telling my mummy that I also want to learn dancing and its latina dancing which will start tomorrow. But after having second thoughts, and seeing myself having to drag myself to dance every wednesday night, I decided to just skip this chance. This is the many times I have refused to learn dancing with my mummy and sisters. Hahas. I'm just not that kind of girl. Hahas. But if you ask me to learn any musical instrument, I will most definitely be willing! I miss playing my LiuQin, though I have one just right beside me, I have not touch it for ages. Maybe, these few weeks I will just drop by CC on sunday and join in the practice. Hope JunWei got go also, havent seen him for long time. Will pull JiaWen and Chiasin along too. HAHAS. Okays, I should have a good rest now. X)
Monday, July 30, 2007, 8:24:00 PM
Do you ever know how much I want to hate yet I just couldnt bare to. Thats just simply because I love you too much.
I HATE THIS FEELING.Yet what can I do? LOVE is just a four-lettered word.
Dear Readers, Today was a high and low day for me. In the morning during geography lesson, my mood was crazy! Like totally. Was doing stupid stuff and laughing and laughing. Hahas. I even had Joann saying that me being possessed by Chucky. But yet, in my heart, I wasnt happy, yet wasnt enjoying myself at one bit. My heart just hurts. I am very sad. But with my strong and happy stunt who could have even notice or see the sadness that is within me. This has always been the me. The sadder I am, the more high I will be. This is one way to try and cheer my mood up and hoping that I can just forget everything and be happy. When I am really happy, I wont be high. Thats just because I am already happy, why should I entertain myself. Walking towards GP class, Darwina and I were have a sing along session. The lucky song is "you are my sunshine". Hahas. Know you can see me desperately needed to brighten my day up. Oh well, but theres no GP. The Economics presentation was today. Hahas. Thumbs up to everyone! After HT, I decided to try my hand on the math homework, but no matter how much I redo, I just couldnt solve the equation. I was so pissed off with myself, and attended Math class with a foul mood and not forgetting a splitting headeache. Thankfully, Miss Zhang gave us a 10 mins break in between, and I manage to freshen myself up. Recently, I have been either not been eating much or skipping my meals. Dont know whats wrong with me. I just hate it when I know I am sad, I am hurt deep down inside yet I dont really know why I feel this way. Does everything need a reason? Speaking till here, I have yet to start on my powerpoint slides for tomorrow presentation. Hopefully all will go well just the same as my GP presentation. I finally understood that I will only Lisp( a situation whereby I suck in my words) when I am in front of people I dont know well,just like in debates. hais) when I am seriously nervous. Hopefully that wouldnt happen tomorrow.
Sunday, July 29, 2007, 4:34:00 PM
Dear Readers, Woke up early this morning, and straight away went to start on my homework till 12.30pm. I am more than half done!!! Wheeee! Also I did manage to revise a little for Economics and Art. Will be starting on maths later in the night. Hehes. Finished Economics Question B last night, with the help of editing from Darwina. Hahas. Left with powerpoint slides which was initially Nazirul part. But, I guess I will just make my own slides. Which I will do so later in the night. Hope Ashley is coping with Question A well. Just came back home from lunch and little shopping. Mummy bought for me a nice blue dress which I love alot and also a pink tank top. Hahas. Dont know why I have been splurging my mummy money. But hey, its only once in a blue moon when I will really want something. My sorethroat seems to be getting worst. It hurts, and I am soon going to fall really sick. Oh well, as my mummy said, just get over and done with the sickness, rather than to let it prolong. So hurry fall sick! Hahas. Whats more I have to present the economics project on tuesday. I am also proud to say that I finally got my study mood back ever since I started on the Economics question B, I have been wanting to study. I guess it was my failure in my geography that triggered off the mood. Then this must be a blessing in disguise. Have to make use of this opportunity to start my revision. I want better grades!!!! Hey, lets all work hard together! X)
Saturday, July 28, 2007, 7:24:00 PM
Dear Readers, PERM-ED MY HAIR TODAY! Wohooo! This morning went to the bank with my mummy. Then went to Jean Yip. I was thinking of a haircut only, but just randomly suggested to my mummy that I wanted to perm my hair. Which I was expecting a "NO" answer, which she always gives me. Unexpectedly, it was a YES! Hahas. Sit on the chair for the whole 3 hours!!! It was BORING and I hate WAITING and WAITING. Hahas. Anyways thats all for today. May start on a topic later tonight. Now must see my new hair cut!!! I LOVE IT!
Friday, July 27, 2007, 5:59:00 PM
Dear Readers, I changed by blog song. Though this is an old song, but it is meaningful and it never fails to touch my heart. The song is in Korean,and its not the original version sung by Kiss. This is the remix and I also have decided not to put the english version in auto mode as it sounds weired. But you still can play it manually yourself. This song is also in many language. I have placed up the English lyrics for the song. If you have time, watch the MV too. It will move you to tears. Hahas. No kidding, unless you dont have a heart. X) BECAUSE I'M A GIRLI just can't understand the ways Of all the men and their mistakes You give them all your heart And then they rip it all away You told me how much you loved me And how our love was meant to be And I believed in you I thought that you would set me free You should've just told me the truth That I wasn't the girl for you Still, I didn't have a clue So my heart depended on you, whoa Although I'll say I hate you now Though I'll shout and curse you out I'll always have love for you Because I am a girl Been told a man will leave you cold Get sick of you and bored I know that it's no lie I gave my all, still I just cry Never again will I be fooled To give my all when nothing's true I won't be played again But I will fall in love again You should've just told me the truth That I wasn't the girl for you Still, I didn't have a clue So my heart depended on you, whoa Although I'll say I hate you now Though I'll shout and curse you out I'll always have love for you Because I am a girl I loved you so Now you leave me in the cold How could this be I thought that you'd only love me Into the night I will pray that you're alright You hurt me so I just can't let you go You took advantage of my willingness To do anything for love Now I'm the only one in pain Will you please take it all away Never thought being born a girl How I can love you and be burned And now I will build a wall To never get torn again Although I'll say I hate you now Though I'll shout and curse you out I'll always have love for you Because I am a girl Although I'll say I hate you now Though I'll shout and curse you out I'll always have love for you Because I am a girl
Thursday, July 26, 2007, 11:06:00 PM
Dear Readers, Did my geography test badly today, I have never have this feeling of confirmation that I will definitely fail the test for so long already. I am upset of course. But not because of failing, but because of me, failing to manage my time properly. Thus, I didnt even have the chance to write down my answers. I must work much harder. Next up is Economics Test in 2 weeks time. I must get my A. I am very tired today. Sleeping now. Nights.
Wednesday, July 25, 2007, 8:01:00 PM
Dear Readers, I had to drag myself out of bed today for school. The first 3 period was ART, and it was charcoal drawing. The 2nd time, I ever use a charcoal to do my art piece. The first was a picture of a greek mythologic character, which was difficult to draw, thankfully, Nellie change it to a sketching of a stool. Oh well, had a tough time sketching and I had to redraw over and over again. Sometimes I wonder, why is it that I feel proud over my art piece and yet Nellie just keep saying its out of proportion, blah and blah... Am I not trying hard enough? Or Is her expectations just simply too high? Anyways, that 3 period of Art lesson, left me bad mood and feverish the whole day. Oh yes, I have fallen sick yet again. Guess it was due to my tiredness. I have a geog test tomorrow, and I have not yet prepare for it finish. Up till now, I only know, whats mass movement and explaining the slow movements such as soil creep and solifluction. There are still much more to go and I havent even touch on the mitigation part yet. I better speed things up. I realise, next week is the deadline for so many projects, such as Economics and ART. Later I have to find time and cut down the econs question A. Hopefully time will allow me to do so. Hehes. I am in the mood of typing today, and theres so many reasons why I want to do so. I guess I want to get away from all my troubles inside me, my moodiness and I thing the main reason of all is Im buying time so as to not start on my geog studying. Lazy me. Have something interesting over here for you all to have a look: Double click on it to be enlarge.I am represented by the Cypress tree( the faithfulness): Strong, muscluar(???), adaptable, takes what life has to give but doesnt necessarily like it. Strives to be content, optimistic, wants to be financially independent, wants love and affection, hates loneliness, passionate lover which cannot be satisfied, faithful, quick tempered at times, can be unruly and careless, loves to gain knowledge, needs to be needed( this I definitely do agree). This is so true about my character and Me. Except well, for the muscular part. Guess, its for guys with that birthday. Hahas. But other than that, that sums up my character. Especially "needs to be needed." Oh well, that will be my topic today then. Anyone who is close to me, will understand why is it so for me. I believe in one thing and that is Assurance. I love praises too, as it encourages me to do better. But not too much praises where a person becomes arrogant. Its just my character that needs myself to be needed. So that I know I am important. Even though, I am already important. Ahahas. Its difficult for me to trust and even so, for myself. When I am needed, I feel the assurance of myself, this, blame it on my confidence. After years of growing, the confidence inside me, just grows smaller and smaller. This I guess my expectation for myself is too high, and also me having to meet the expectation of what others have given me. Days in MI are becoming stressful. I did regret coming to MI at first, thinking why I didnt stick to my course in SP. Now, everytime I think about this, The first question that will always come into my mind is Does that mean in SP, you will not be stress as you are now? Hahas. Looking from all my friends in polytechnic, they seems to be more stress than I am, I am grateful to be in MI. Recently, I have been looking back into the past again. How carefree we were during our childhood days. The older we grow, the more the stress adds on. I never did bother to study for Mid year in the past, and I didnt mind if I get a fail, but know, things are different. It has become a must for me to study, and a B is never enough. Theres a post which I once written( Sunday, June 17) on how we have to slower down our pace, as we are moving too fast to even have the time to appreciate ourself and the smallest things in the world. Yet, I realise, once I slow down, I am unable to catch up. Hais. What am I suppose to do? Life is just that difficult, especially in Singapore, and us, the future stressful generation. I dont even know why am I working so hard for. Am I a urban person or a countryside person? I am a countryside person, in that kind of environment, life is not so messy, and things are being appreciated. I am tired of all the paper chase. I just want to live life simple, and to the fullest.
Tuesday, July 24, 2007, 10:41:00 PM
UPDATE:Am back here writing once again. There are just simply too many distraction at home for me to even concentrate on studying, especially the ANIME. Ahhh... There I made a promise: tomorrow, I will be out studying till I finish revising my geog. I wont go home till I finish revising... otherwise, I will be distracted again. Hais Dear Readers, I just found out today that I have a Geography test in 2 days time! Grrr... I am in no studying mood, hais. I have to shoo my holiday mood away already. I am so tired that I cant even remember what happen today, and much less what I wanted to write. But I still remember what I want to write for my last few post, will write that when I feel like it. For now its, studying geography again! Hahas. Will end here with a short and sweet quote. Hahas. "What is love and what does it define, who's to say and who's to draw the line, within this wrld and all its fuss who's to say if it's love or a simple crush."Hahas. For qiaoying: I am sorry, cant write anymore longer. Oh well, at least you have this quote to ponder upon and to give me a good answer on it! Hahas. CIAO~
Monday, July 23, 2007, 8:28:00 PM
Oh when oh when can I watch TRANSFORMER!
Saturday, July 21, 2007, 11:26:00 PM
Donut Factory.
Dear Readers, Had a LONG AND TIRING day today. Finally I found someone to watch TRANSFORMER with me, but the tickets were SOLD OUT! Thought I was one of the last to watch it, but I was definitely wrong. I have to catch that show no matter what. Oh well, then we caught a bus down to city hall as I was craving to try donut factory's donuts. The queue was 3 times long, guess the reason is that it is a Saturday. Accepted fate and walk all the way to Suntec outlet. Queued up and got the donuts within 10 mins. Hahas. Walk down to the bus stop and waited for the bus for 1 HOUR!!! And still it never came... Oh well, went to city hall interchange and caught a train back. Am so tired. Tried the donuts, but it wasnt up to my expectation. I guess its too rich in the chocolate that I couldnt stand it. Wasted. Just came back from dinner. Went to the Old Airport Road market for late dinner. I miss that place so much, it brings back secondary school memories to me. Wanted to right on a topic, but I guess, I shall give it a miss today.
Friday, July 20, 2007, 10:15:00 PM
Dear Readers, Back with my post. Its time I should change my "dear readers" to something else, its too cliche. Got my report book today. My parents are satisfied with my marks, yet I am disappointed. I had done reasonably well, but yet, my total marks is only over a pass. Oh well, I reap what I sow. I will work harder for End year examinations which is only 6 weeks away. I will start from today, right this moment. Besides still waiting for my A in geography for a long long time, I am trying to get an A for Economics. With a 65% for Mid year, hmm... Should be got hope, must try to push myself 5% more! Hahas. I would also like to get a pass for my math!!! Okays, enough of results. Just now when I went out to throw the rubbish, I look up the sky. Its so cloudy tonight, and the stars up there can be counted with 1 hand. This reminded me of the stars I saw at Vung Tau. In there, no matter where I am in the night, the sky will be filled with stars, and in the night the weather is so cooling. Siting by the sea, hearing the wind howl, feeling the wind, looking up the dark blue sky, staring at the stars, side by side with the person I love, how I miss those moments. No matter, how happy I am being single, I still long to love and to be loved. The chain mail on the Seven wonders of the world, that is: to hear, to see, to feel, to taste, to laugh, to love and to be loved, I love that story alot. It is very meaningful. Much as I long to be love, especially by that someone, who is special to me, but studies still have to go on. I cant just sit and wait for it to happen. Neither will I go and pursue my true happiness. But I will wait, if we werent meant to be, then, thats just fate. Hehes. I really long to see the stars again, with the person I love next to me. Dont you find it romantic? Hahas. Thats the most beautiful thing to me. I have not been wishing for a long time, now I want to wish for that. Who is the HIM?I miss HIM alot. Dont ask me who is that HIM, I dont really know, my heart just yearn for HIM so much. I wonder, who am I yearning for? I wonder, who is that person my heart just cant stop loving, my mind endlessly thinking about HIM. Seriously, I am unclear of who it is, in other words, I dont know who is HIM. That, I will continue to understand and read myself more for the answer. But I definitely know, the HIM, is a very special person, that my heart just cant stop beating for, that my mind just cant thinking about. That HIM, whom I want to give my love to unconditionally, expecting nothing in return. Whom, I will travel to the ends of the world, to see him smile or even laugh, to give him happiness. Because nothing beats more than seeing the person you love happy.
Dear Readers, The past 3 days has been tiring. On Wednesday, went for debating practice, wasted time there, and left halfway to go and play pool. Pool was great. Then left for home! Ha has. Ytd, Miss foong told us that she will be leaving MI on wed and flying off to Japan on Friday. Hais. Will definitely miss her. She is a great teacher, and I love her lessons alot. Today went to get my results. Looking into my report slip, I was sadden, because of my art. I have a B for Mid year, but after adding class works and so on, I only manage a C and its only 0.4 marks for a B!!! Hais, grace, just be satisfied with what you have. After that went to eat breakfast at Mcdonalds with classmates. Then went back to school to do the Shanghai presentation. After discussing, went back to Mcdonalds with Hooda and Shikin, but left for home, cause I was so sleepy!!! I am filled with so many project works, and I am so tired! I will blog on a topic tonight, for now, I want to go and take a nap. Hehes. CIAO~
Wednesday, July 18, 2007, 11:15:00 PM
Dear Readers, Finally decided to go for Opening Ceremony, went to ask for Invitational card. Horrors out of horrors, my invitation card is to perform with CO 2 songs. Worst of all, one of them is the song I hate alot!! Oh well, but theres cannon, which I love. LOLS! Much as I would love to perform, but I wont be able to do it, cause theres like only left one day to practice and learn the song I hate most. Hais. If I had known this earlier, I would definitely have go and prepare. But this is simply too last minute. There fly pass the chance of me touching my dear liu qin again. =(
Tuesday, July 17, 2007, 10:04:00 PM
Dear Readers, Its once again the weekdays, that means back to school, study and homeworks. This week have my economics project to rush out. Its only tuesday, and I am feeling so drained! My body have been so weak this feel days. Hais, I better have to take care more of myself. Darwina and Wendy came to my home today to discuss on our Economics research essay. And we are only at an incomplete question 1!!!!There's still question 2 to go! Hais. My schedule this week is rather pack. I have already skip 2 lessons of debating for the economics prj, and MIDC is this saturday. I feel so bad. But I havent really have much choice. Hais! I AM SORRY, this comes from the bottom of my heart. Though I am sleepy, tired and drained of all my energy, I would like to express myself on a topic today and this is also to let you all know my character better. I yearn for those carefree days I used to have. Even if you know me very little, you should know from my character that I follow my heart and not whats logical. I use my heart to guide me whats right and whats wrong and not my head, nor my brains! Cause I believe in what I believe in. If you happen to clash with me, thats seriously too bad. I am a super straight forward person, and I mean super. If I happen to say something that has offended you, then I am sorry, thats just me. X) Basically, I love to be happy and am a nice person. But please dont take advantage of this point, I am not someone to mess with me. I consider no one to be able to understand me that well, as I often hide my feelings inside me, sometimes choosing to just ignore it. Oh well, this is also only a matter of how much stuffs I tell you about me.. Every single friend is the same to me. It only depends on how much you build up or destroy the trust I given. But I still have great friends. X) Hahas. Hmmm... I shall continue this when I think of more, my brain is turning off. Anyways, the last home tutor lesson, we had some kind of stuff on thinking things. Hahas. I suggest we read the worksheet well, and reflect it back onto our thinking. Damn. I am really falling asleep.... I cant concentrate on what I am writing. Anywyas, I know it sucks to read it incomplete. But I rather write some sensible stuff then some nonsense which I end up also not understanding it myself. Will continue why should we do that in the next post. Nights!
Sunday, July 15, 2007, 9:43:00 PM
Dear Readers, I FINALLY FINISHED COMPILING OUR GROUP GP PROJECT, YIPEEE!Hahas, spent almost the whole day doing that of course with frequent running away from the computer to slack! Have to seriously thank my sister that she learnt me her computer to finish up the work. We are finally ready to present. X) The weather is super humid nowadaes. Its giving me bad headaches and the stuffiness caused me to have several times of breathlessness. I just cant simply live without the air conditional, its killing me. The humid weather is caused by the combinations of global warming as well as the forest fires in Indonesia that causes the temperature to rise! Grrrr. Yet, I am doing no good by turning on the air conditional time and time again, knowing that it will add on to global warming. Hais. But without the aircon, I will be breathless, and its so bad that I cant stand it. What can I do? Havent really started on the studying of my geography test next week. Ahhh.. Have to read up on it tonight! I want better marks for geography, I know I can do better but with that I need to study more. Hais. Hate studying right away after Mid year just ended. T.T To Joann: Regarding the tagg game, I shall post it up after I tink of 6 weired things about me, so far I only have 1. Hehes.
Saturday, July 14, 2007, 10:47:00 AM
Miss Singapore International 2007.
Dear Readers, Lets start of talking about today, Just on my computer 15mins ago, log into my MSN and Darwina's offline message pop up. On it, it said, I passed my GP paper one on the dot. Whoo, and I was so frigging happy, and below that is my GP paper 2, that is the comprehension section and guess what I got. A FREAKING 11 OUT OF 50. I did expected to fail my GP, BUT NOT THE COMPREHENSION PART! I dont even know how can I fail the comprehension also. Gosh! Its so fustrating lor. What make it worst is that, halfway during my composition, I gave up on it and anyhow finish it, and I put my heart into my comprehension. Hais. I never have a mark like this before for COMPREHENSION! Oh well, I got a B for my ART, thanks to the SOVA paper. I reach my target setting for mid year which is 3 H2 passes with grades B, B, C! Yeahhh! I certainly did improve and I have to work even more harder for even more better grades, most importantly to concentrate on my H1 subjects Math and GP. Moving on to yesterday event, went home straight away after school and sleep. Then was awaken by Anthony's call. Asking me where is the debating venue held at. HOW THE HELL WILL I KNOW! You can blame me for being so fierce and fustrated! YOU WOKE ME UP FROM MY BEAUTY SLEEP and after which I cant fall back to sleep again. Whats more, this isnt the first time you have been calling me for nothing and when I am sleeping. I understand that you cant know if I am sleeping a not, but can you use your damn common sense that I am not in school! Anyways, in the evening dress up and went to raffles town club for a charity dinner-cum- Miss Singapore international. Andrea De Cruz was the host with a guy, whom I dont know who is it. Hahas. It was awesome, and as for the Miss Singapore International, she was who we had predicted, but none of those contestents can be compared with last year queen. Anyways, yesterday was friday the 13, and our table was no. 13 and the queen for 2007 is contestant no. 13, she also got the miss elegent award. Hahas, Who says friday the 13 is a black friday? Hahas. Oh well, but their standard is seriously way below of being a Miss International, that dont know how to dance properly and some even forget their steps, and their walking is seriously HORRIBLE! You should see the amount of times they tripped. Hahas. They speaking skills is oh well, passable. LOLS! The red dress that I will be wearing. Me on the dress before leaving the house. My sister Kimberley and I. The lady with the crown is last year Queen. I have finally uploaded the pictures of Darwina, Yi Min and Me at the esplanade and some beautiful pictures of the scenery there into the computer. Darwina said this picture looks like it have been photshop, because of the "fake" tress around that makes it looks artificial. Hahas. Look at how crowded esplanade is on a friday night. And mind you, this is only a small portion, theres a huge concert right at the back. Hahas. Beautiful picture of Singapore CBD, one of the best I ever took. This is when the floating stadium where our NDP is being held when being lighted up, stunning isnt it, but the construction of the Marina Bay Intergrated Resorts in the background is such an eyesore. It spoils the beautiful scenery. But hey, look at the bright side, in few years time, when the IR is ready, that area will definitely be perfect.
Wednesday, July 11, 2007, 10:13:00 PM
Dear Readers, My hard work has finally paid of with my results. For now, assuming that my H2 Art will pass, which I defintely have the confidence in passing it and that will mean 3 H2 passes! Hahas. Which is certainly my target. Am proud of my results, however, there is still many rooms for improvement. My grades have not reach the target I aimed for, but well, am stil happy that I pass! Will definitely do alot more better for end year examination for all my 3 H2 subjects. Hahas. I am also proud to say that I got 12/50 for my H1 mathematics! Hahas. Really happy to get that okays, cause its 2 digit!!! Hahhaas. But will try to pass for end year examinations. My chinese should be got pass la, after adding in listening comprehension which I surprisingly got full marks! Hahas. And for General paper, hahas, expecting a fail. Enough of results, I am practically stress, stress and STRESS! Plenty of homework and I am unhappy about the art work piece did i put in so much effort to put in. Shall update when I have the time. I got to redo it for competition! Take cares!
Tuesday, July 10, 2007, 12:04:00 AM
Dear Readers, Posting of photos will be delayed, I have not upload it into my computer. On Saturday, went to meet up with Wendy, Nazirul and friend(which I cant remember his name)for bowling. Hahas. Played 2 games in which the first round I scored super badly, oh well, did buck up for my 2nd game! Hahas. Then, played pool again! Hahas. But it ended quite early, went home to watch television. On sunday, had quarrels with my younger sisters again. I always have been having fainting spells, and it just so happened when she was behind me, and I accidentaily step onto her foot. She insist I did that on purpose. Oh well, you know how my 3 sisters are like. Oh well, stayed at home whole day to accompany the television. The return of the condor heroes will be having its last episode next saturday!!! Hahas. I was so reluctant to come back to school yesterday night, and I still am reluctant, am still in the holiday mood. Today school started proper, got back my geogrpahy paper, I PASS! Hahas. But am very disappointed with my grades, I could have done better! What makes me most disapointed was the fact that I got higher marks for tectonic hazards management which I seriously did not study that compared to my plate tectonic theory! Ah! I am still having the same usual grades, I have to sit down and improvise my answers to bring it to a higher level. I MUST do better for End Year Examination. I cant wait for my Economics paper. Haha.The paper which I took pains to study for. Hope i get it back tomorrow. Have a new math teacher, and I have CHUNKS OF HOMEWORK! IRP worksheets have to be done by tomorrow, Art competition design have to be ready by Wednesday, and the Incomplete GP presentation is giving me headaches. Its only the first day of school! Hais.
Saturday, July 7, 2007, 1:44:00 AM
confusion
Hais, I cant sleep. My mind is filled with things I keep thinking about. Whether shoud i do this... or that... or blah and blah... Tomorrow I have a meeting with friends all the way to lakeside, and I am still here awake. I'm in a state of confusion now. I really wish I could say out my problems, but I find it hard to express myself, thats the big problem with me. I always keep things to myself. Hais. I notice one thing, the harder you try to make your life better, the worst it becomes, thats for my case then. I have been trying and trying, yet my life keeps crumbling down. HOPE dont exists anymore. I dont have faith and confidence in myself anymore. I try so hard to love myself, my life! Why? Why does it only get worst. Did I not try hard enough? But do you know theres a limit to ones tolerance to life. AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Friday, July 6, 2007, 11:38:00 PM
Regrets or failures?
Dear Readers, Went out to play pool with Darwina and her two friends, Lucas and Roy! Hahas. At least my pool not as bad as last time, at least I could score! After that, was looking through the new paper while waiting for my turn then I saw munchy's donuts!! Hahas, then my craving my donuts started. Darwina and I will be meeting Yi Min( darwina's penpal, and 1 more new friend for me!) for dinner. Before meeting her, we had sometime to spare, so ended up in Suntec to look at the donuts factory! GOSH! Its soooo long queue. Wonder when can I try their donuts. Oh well, then we went to carrefour to get sushi! Hahas. My all time favourite. Then catch a shuttle bus down to city hall and meet her. Had dinner at marina square and we chatted quite abit! Hahas. At least I know more about Switzerland! Hahas. Then went over to esplanade. First time in my life, I been to esplanade in the night! Its seriously so happenning! I was shocked. LOLS! However, the band playing tonight wasnt really that good, in fact it was to noisy due to the music that we cant even hear the singer singing. He must be trying so hard to overpower his other band members loud music! Hahahs. I am going back there one day and sit there to chill! Hahas. Reach home, and watch the 2nds to disaster documentary on Kobe earthquake! Hahas. I even copied down 2 papers of notes. Such a hardworking girl. Had fun chilling today, shall upload the pictures tomorrow. Despite so much happenings today, I am sad. Talk on it more tomorrow. I need to think on it more. With that I shall end on this note, WILL YOU RATHER FAIL OR REGRET?Tell me wont you?
Thursday, July 5, 2007, 11:35:00 PM
SCREWED UP!
Dear Readers, Finally finished my Mid Year Examinations. Art was so and so, at least manage to finish my theory paper, a painted A2 piece, and a A3 sketch piece in 3 hours. Hahas. Came back home, and oh well, there was a quarrel between us sisters. One thing I will ever regret in my life, or, If I could ever live all over again, I DONT WANT TO BE THE ELDER SISTER. Being the eldest maybe good, but not for my case. Look at how my sister treat me. Oh well, it seriously doesnt pays to be nice. Oh well, lets change subject. Feeling moody and down. I guess, i had a long. With slight fever. Hais. I guess its the weather. Raining then so sunny! Ahhh. Having craving for Japanese food AGAIN! Hahas. Meeting up Darwina tomorrow for pool. Oh well, my pool sucks. I seriously need to chill myself before school starts! I got no mood, even blogging. Thats why my blog entry today is like so haywired, toking so randomnly. Hahas. I am tired... Hais. I miss someone. HAIS!
Wednesday, July 4, 2007, 2:17:00 PM
INSOMNIA
Dear Readers, I am turning into an Owl very soon enough. My sleeping hours are too irregular and getting out of hand. Tried to sleep at Twelve last night, yet, the whole night I merely had a wink and It was only at 9AM that I started feeling sleeping. GOSH! Dont worry I wont become a Panda, cause I have enough sleep during the day. This seriously worries me alot. Its okays now, cause school hasnt started proper yet. My next week school is officially starting!!! Ahhh..... Someone please help me with this problem. I am starting to have a taste on pop rock music. Hahas. Thats like so Unexpected. But too much of it still irks. Oh well, classical, Oldies, Hits are still the best! Hahas. Tomorrow is my last paper, ART. I am here struggling on what to study. I am not even given any notes, and have to go online and study! Oh well, this isnt so bad until, the test is going to be a FILL IN THE BLANKS. What if the words arent exactly the same, whats more its the NET. Where am I going to start with. Hais. UPDATES:I am so proud to announce up till this moment, I have not studied my ART! Hahas. I dont even know where to start, and what to do. Hais. The whole day I have been thinking of which country to go next. I miss the ocean, and wants to go on a cruise, but, hais, I was rejected by my 2 dear friends, thinking its a crazy idea. So sad. Hahas. Mummy says, if My sisters and I score well for end year, we will go HongKong. Yippeee. Havent been to HongKong before. And next year new year, I already have GuangZhou on my lists. Hahas. Oh well... Its still a long way to go, hais. I want to travel and explore every single corner of the Earth. Hahas. Wonder when can I go to the country I want to go most! SWITZERLAND.
Tuesday, July 3, 2007, 11:38:00 PM
Dear Readers, I wasted my day doing pratically nothing useful. Oh well, at least I learnt that sleeping too much gives me splitting headaches. Hahas. A punishment for me. Played games online. But those were lousy games. arg. I am bored to death at home, cant wait to go back to school! hahas. Oh well, at least I can study my ART tomorrow. Thursday will be my very last paper. Hehes.
Monday, July 2, 2007, 11:39:00 PM
Why do you have to say you love me? WHY?
Do you know how hard it is for me to forget you?
I did! Yet, I fell all over again for you. Because of the words you told me, which I never did acknowledge it. Those words, I never did believe in it, because, I want it from your heart and not just plain words, to play with me. Why do you have to be so nice to me? Nice people, only makes me get hurt even more. But nevertheless, I long to tell you how important you are to me, and tell you that I do love you too.
Dear Readers,
This is the crazy thing I am facing now, LOVE. The subject which I have been shunning away from, reassuring myself that I do not need it, because I am happy with what I have, I dont want to be tied down, its better to be just friends. Shunning away, did helped me temporary. But, the me, who always listen to my heart, rather than the my thinking, how can I ever succumb to my thinking.
Oh well, I guess what I need most now is TIME.
Sunday, July 1, 2007, 11:24:00 PM
Dear Readers, BIG NEWS: I CUT MY HAIR TODAY!Anyone, looking from my tagboard, you can basically see my sister, clarice and I quarreling. Hahas. Just dont bother much about that people. We always do that! X) Back to the topic today, just before writing this blog, "I went back into the past". Looking at pictures when I was in Secondary school, and how I grew up to be this person today. Though about happy things that happened then. Seriously, I do miss secondary school life. Most of all I miss all my friends, especially my "TanBoYue" darlings. Looking through the last concert I performed in, at the National Library Drama Centre. How I simply wish time would have stop at that moment and never move again, cause from then on, I knew I can never perform ever again. The hours spent of each and everyone of us to make this concert a perfect one, and a perfect one it was. One of the best I ever performed in. Remebering, after the concert, we had a day off and had fun in Sentosa. That was the last time I have been there since, and also the only time I really had fun in Sentosa, the whole group for once was united and having so much fun! I wish, there could be another chance like this, where the atmosphere will be filled with laughter. Coming to MI,a new school compound, beautiful friends there are, awesome teachers, but, I cant be who I am. I guess its because, I lost my way to express myself; through music. A girl who loves being on stage, not only to perform but to her, its a form of expression to her, how can she be happy not being her? Now I understand what it is meant" the simplest things in life, is the happiest things you can ever get." Regret giving up my position in Singapore Poly to come to MI, oh yes, at times I defintely will. I never ever wanted an A level certificate, what am I doing here? But, nevertheless, I will still brave this road that I have choosen. Since I have accepted this path, I wil still continue to strive forward, even if I lose my way, at least I did try, and never give up. From the aspects of relationship, I have grown up. In the past, all I ever ask from a guy is just 3 things, love, faithfulness and great personality. But now, love is more than just these 3 things. But there is 1 thing that will always stay the same, beauty is from the inside and not from the outside. 3 Ex-es I have all with a big heart. The first taught me whats hope and faith, to 2nd taught me care and concern. The last, Hoang, taught me whats love and trust. I have been speaking about hoang alot, and you must be very interested who is this person. He is the one that drastically change my life, change the me that I once used to be. He made me understand that love is unconditional. I knew what was, treasure the person you love most, because I lose him once, and I want dont want it ever again. He was the one who can not only tolerate my stubborness, but change it to patience and tolerance, because he was more stubborn than me! Hahas. With him, I never won once in quarrels, because he always have his way. He never lets anyone bullies me, and yet he does it himself. He draws very cute angel pictures, copied from my style and makes me laugh. He take cares of me alot. He was the first person, I ever trusted, because he made me to. His heart was bigger than anyone else I ever knew. He loves and care for others and especially those in need. The cutest of all is he calls himself superman's son. Hahas. We even have a comic strips of it! Will post it next time. But, he is a very hot tempered person, and always wants things his way. Considering so many things he have taught me. I learnt how to love unconditionally, learnt how to sacrifice, learnt how to give, learnt that if you love a person you will always want to see him happy. Learnt how to be patient and have tolerance. Most importantly, I learnt how to be a cheerful girl who smiles and giggle always. I learnt so much more things, I have grown from a small girl to the girl today. By the way, I have since moved on after he left for USA. I wish him all the best and may he becomes a pilot which he always long to be or otherwise a nurse. I have forgotten him, all that is left are only memories. =)In my next relationship, I wonder what kind of guy will I meet, will he be the one? What important values will I learn? How much more will I learn? Will he be the last I ever will find? Hehes! Hope I can meet him soon enough. X) Till the day I meet him, may god take care of him and give him smiles and laughter every single day! I want him to be happy!
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Affiliates.
Alicia ♥
CY ♥
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Chia Sin ♥
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Credits.
Icon : Deviantart.
Layout : iPaperhearts
Quote : Twilight Saga.
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