There wasn't anymore reason.
Before you, my life was like a moonless night.
Very dark, but there were stars — points of light and reason.
And then you shot across my sky like a meteor.
Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty.
When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black.
Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light.
I couldn't see the stars anymore.
And there was no more reason for anything.
- Edward Cullen to Bella.
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Profile.
♥GRACE 03 02 1990
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Posting.
Tuesday, March 31, 2009, 10:09:00 PM
Today is so NOT my day. Lets start from the morning. I was all prepared and walking into my bathroom for my morning shower, when my sister came running to me and pleaded to let her use the bathroom first. Being in a very good and kind mood this morning, I allowed her so. However, it was done in the expense of my time. By the time I was ready, I was already running very late and rushed all the way to the bus stop hoping to catch the bus. However, just few metres away from the bus stop, my sister just had to send me an sms and I just had to choose that time to remove my hand phone from my bag and read it. It was because of this, I did not notice the arrival of the bus or I could have caught up with it. And I missed it. I could have just gone back home and continued with my beauty sleep, but somehow or rather I decided to just catch a cab to school. I made the wrong decision. I swear it was so difficult to flag any cab. I took a whole 45minutes just to catch one and not only that, I had to walk all over my place just to get that one cab for me arrive in school on time. I seriously should have just stayed home right. After all lessons ends very early today for me. But thankfully I managed to be on time but in a very foul mood. School was fine. Since lessons ended early today and it is my mother's birthday, I had planned the night before to meet my sister at Parkway. And here comes my 'bus catching' game again. I finished school at 2.05 and I only reached there at 4pm! Peng right. Anyways, I managed to develop my mummy's photo and bought a photo frame for her. I specially chosed her most funniest picture and designed it. You should seriously see her "what the hell" expression when she opened up the box. I spent a whole lot of time and money at Borders. I am trying very hard to control my spending, especially during days like these when I am in a bad mood. Otherwise I would be an owner of a new black watch and dress already. Hahas. But still, I bought 3 story books from borders. "Ransom my heart", "Marked" from the House of night series and "Vampire Academy" from its series. Hopefully, they are good books.
Monday, March 30, 2009, 8:42:00 PM
I spent my weekends rather romantically. Of course, not literally. Watched "On the other end of the line" on Saturday night. It is a romance movie between an American guy and a girl from Mumbai. You know how the Americans outsource their jobs to other countries. This lady is working for an American credit firm and she calls him to enquire about his bill. Through these calls, they started to have feelings for one another. Apparently she was engaged to a guy whom she doesn't love at all. Oh well, the result of matchmaking from her parents. So, she wanted to have her own "bachelorette" fun. So she flew all the way to America just to meet this guy and they fell in love with each other. As for the rest, watch the movie and you will know. I have always been a fan of romance movies and this is really good. I spent almost my whole Sunday reading "Evermore". Basically it is a fantasy story almost likable to "Twilight". The story plot is very good and I assume better than Twilight, just that instead of romance between human and Vampire it is now the humans and the Immortals. Now why isn't there a guy in the mortal world that is like Edward Cullen and Damen? Perhaps all the good guys are really fictional. Maybe I'll never find my prince charming in my this lifetime. I have decided to change my favourite flower to Red Tulips. Believe me or not, I used to love red tulips when I was younger. And as I grew up, I just totally forgot all about it. Red Tulip symbolises perfect love. Which is also generally associated with True love. Awesome right. As much as Sunflowers brings warmth and happiness to me, but I believe with the presence of true love, warmth and happiness will be there. Maybe it is because of my romantic weekend, I am starting to be emotionally crazy. My blog song is a by product of it. I kept imagining and wondering- The meaning of true love and its existance. And supposedly all kind of true love questions you can think of. Hopefully, my heart will ever find those answers. :)
Saturday, March 28, 2009, 5:49:00 PM
I have not blog for TWO weeks already. It is either I am too busy or too lazy to start blogging. Perhaps if I had not decided to blog now, doubt I would ever blog again. I will start by retracing this two weeks of my life. Last week was the March Holidays. On Monday and Wednesday, I had to attend an animation workshop. The workshop was a good experience, but not something of my liking. Nevertheless I had fun with Sabrina and Ben. We did some hands-on on stop motion animation. Before we could start animating it through camera, we had to come up with our figurines made by plasticine. Here they are: Sabrina did the Y,U,M letterings, Ben did the worm and I did the book. :) If you think it is easy, think again. On Tuesday, I had a date with some of my classmates. We watched the thai horror movie "Coming Soon". It was so horribly scary that I cried twice and not forgetting I was hiding behind my jacket most of the time. I am not going to watch any horror movie anymore; well for now. After we hanged out at Taka. We did plenty of camwhoring by the fountain before being approached by some people. They persuaded us to take a snapshot on how we will look like when we are 60 years old. And we all did. The first reply I got from them when I showed them my picture was- OMG, she looks like the ghost in the movie. Peng right! I know I look fucking ugly already, but still you didn't have to rub salt onto my wounds. Oh wells, I threw that fugly picture into the bin. Whether I am in denial or sensitive or whatever the shit, I defo do not want to be frightened looking at my 60 years old picture and being reminded of the ghost in the middle of the night.
That day, I reminded myself , "Beauty is only skin deep, but ugly goes clear to the bone. Some people, no matter how old they get, never lose their beauty. They merely move it from their faces into their hearts." I rather have inner beauty please. :) That very Tuesday night, I had a sinus so bad that I spent two hours just blowing my nose non-stop! Think I broke my nose that night. On Saturday, I decided to do some spring cleaning to my room. Now, my room is very neat and tidy. Don't know how long it will last before it gets messy again. After cleaning up my room, I went to Tampines to meet up with my mummy and as everyone knows already, I cut my hair short. I don't know what happened to make me decide to cut of my beloved curls. So far, I have not regret my decision yet. :) School reopened this Monday and since then, I have been feeling very lethargic. I was so tired to the point that my mind just shut off in classes. Geography classes were very peng also. I didn't go for tennis class yesterday. With my painful tummy cramps, doubt I could run around chasing after the balls. Instead, I studied under the void deck with Sabrina and Darwina. Followed my two dogs for their swim today. And guess what? While walking Tiger back into his house, I accidentally lost gripped and his leash cut my fourth finger on the right. The cut was similar to what happened to my toe. It hasn't stop bleeding since two hours ago and it is very painful. :( While this week haven't been a good one for me, but I've learned something from Muneera. "Good guys are fictional, just like Edward the vampire and Damen the immortal." :) Whoever strongly disagree with it, perhaps you could start checking whether you are a MCP first.
Sunday, March 15, 2009, 9:55:00 PM
I have mix feelings for PU3 seminar on Friday. The morning and games part was interesting and I enjoyed it very much, but the afternoon lecture was horrendously boring. Furthermore I slept very late the night before as I need to complete my geography essay, this make the lecture even more unbearable. The game I enjoyed most was the blindfolded obstacle course.Apart from having bruises on my right knee, it taught me never to persevere and to not give up. There were many of times where I was so afraid and my knees were hurting so badly then I just wanted to remove my blindfold. There were also times where I lost hold of Hong (who was in front of me) and I felt so lost. Thankfully, Munirah and Ashley did a good job in leading us through the obstacle. :) After the Seminar, I had to rush down to Bedok sports center for my tennis lesson. We practiced on how swinging our C drive. My coach praised me. He said I have a nice swing and so far the only one in the class who has mastered swinging with my arms straight. :D Looks like my training with David the other day is paying off. I went back home very tired. Since the next day was a Saturday, I could have slept in. However I had to go for a terribly boring NTU economics seminar. I regret signing up for this seminar. Out of the 8 talks only the last one was interesting. I even skipped 2 talks to visit the NTU open house. The only good thing about the seminar- the eclairs were extremely very yummy. I woke up very late. I had to catch back all the sleep I had missed and recharge myself. Now the best part about today. While I was practicing my piano, Valerie, my younger sister cam running downstairs asking for the Sunday times. As far as I remember, she recently sign up for a comic competition and I was kind of expecting she wouldn't win. Well, I was right she didn't. But! Never did I know she had signed up for another competion. When she saw it she was screaming all over the house and all of us were so surprised. Here it is: Look at the bottom right hand corner.
Now on page 5 of the Classified Ads. And that is how she won the family photo competition. Peng right! Thank god it was on the classified page where no one reads it. And thank god it isn't an unglam picture of mine. Hahas. Guess what, she just sent in another family photo and sent in Tiger and Audrey for the sporty dog photo competition too. Oh wells, this is just part of her plan to become a columnist when she grows up. This afternoon met up with Muneera, Diana, Hong, Fathi, Chan chan and Swee wan for the NUS open house. Athough I ended up having a very terrible headache and my right eye vision was very blur, I still enjoyed the open house. I have made up my mind, NUS FASS is going to be my choice. The university life in NUS suits me better than NTU. I like the confidence and assurance given at the talk by the head of FASS. Furthermore, NUS guys are very very and extremely very good looking. It's not only a handful of them, but a whole lot of them! Of course, this isn't my consideration factor. I want a school that is best for me and I found it in NUS. So, a degree in honours for geography? I suppose, I've made up my mind. :))
Thursday, March 12, 2009, 10:53:00 PM
I'm not in my best of mood right now. Basically because I am very tired and sleepy. I am feeling very irritated too. As much as I can be very tolerant with certain things, but please know where is the limit. It is shocking how little you understand about me. Recently, I made new decisions on certain things. I can be a very fickle minded person and I could take forever just to make one simple decision. But when I set my eyes on something, I am serious. This is just being me. At least the emotional turmoil I've been going through recently has finally come to a halt. I am sorry, I can't share with you my innermost feelings and thoughts on this. I am not good at sharing this out with others. Nevertheless, I am proud of myself to be searching for my own happiness again. And even if I were to fall again, I will never give up on what life has to offer me. Thanks to my friends, I have finalised my Art coursework concept. Like the concept, I want to be that person I had portray myself to be. That is despite pressures from everyone around me, I want to have the optimism to fight for what I want. What I want is happiness. A sunflower is made up of more than 2000 little seeds. My happiness is going to be made up of more than 2000 little things that make it big. Honestly, to keep calling myself weak, not confident and hopeless is an understatement. Inside, I can be a very strong and determined girl indeed. And not forgetting one that is true to her heart. :)) My first love is loving myself.
Monday, March 9, 2009, 10:44:00 PM
I was initailly supposed to post "Second Chance" instead of "I just died in your arms" as my blog song. However, the streaming was screwed up then. Since it has been fixed now, here it is:
I found the phone I must've missed your message You got it wrong, It wasn't what your friend said. Tell by your tone, I've taken it too far again. (Just when I thought I'd gone and fixed it all again.)
Your friends are telling you, You gotta move on. (Just when I thought I'd gone and wrecked it all again.) You turned around so I could tell you what took so long. I don't know why i ever waited to say. Cuz I'm just dying just to see you again .
Instead of holding you, I was holding out. I should've let you in, but I let you down. You were the first to give ,I was the first to ask. Now I'm in second place, to get a second chance.
I should've known, took you and I for granted Gotta let you know, I was never underhanded. Tell by your tone, I've taken it too far again. (Just when I thought I'd gone and fixed it all again.)
My friends are telling me they saw you with someone. (Just when I thought I'd gone and wrecked it all again.) You turned around so I could tell you what took so long. I don't know why i ever waited to say. Cuz I'm just dying just to see you again .
Instead of holding you, I was holding out. I should've let you in, but I let you down. You were the first to give, I was the first to ask. Now I'm in second place, to get a second chance.
My last mistake, putting my friends first. I tried to laugh it off but I made things worse. You were the first to give, I was the first to ask. Now I'm in second place, to get a second chance.
What you give is always what you get. There's so much I haven't given yet. If you could give another second chance. (Just when I thought I'd gone and fixed it all again.)
My friends are telling me they saw you with someone. (Just when I thought I'd gone and wrecked it all again.) You turned around so I could tell you what took so long. I don't know why I ever waited to say. Cuz I'm just dying just to see you.
Instead of holding you, I was holding out. I should've let you in, but I let you down. You were the first to give, I was the first to ask. Now I'm in second place, to get a second chance.
My last mistake, putting my friends first. I tried to laugh it off but I made things worse. You were the first to give I was the first to ask. Now I'm in second place to get a second chance.
Instead of holding you, I was holding out I should've let you in, but I let you down You were the first to give, I was the first to ask Now I'm in second place, to get a second chance.
Today was one of the bad days in school. Remember I said before, I didn't want my Art results to be like my Economics and Geography. It didn't, it was worse! My Art results is fucking terrible. It came as a surprise to me, because I was confident that I would get at least a C. Now I've got my first E! I've never gotten below a C for my H2 before and never would I expect it to come from Art. Sometimes, shit happens in life. But, I can't help feeling very disappointed in myself. I seriously don't know what happened and why! This really set me thinking about my dad question yesterday. He asked me "what if you can't enter university, what are you going to do?" And I told him, I never thought of that possibility at all. Now that I know shit can happen anytime, I better start planning for a Plan B. I've got another bad news also related to Art. I've got to start re-thinking my concept of my Art coursework, because the teacher says its very fragmented. The worst thing that can happen to you is that no one understands your art work. I've got to revise my concept. That could mean whatever I've done since last year would be useless. I've only got a few more months left for it and I haven't even started on my final piece at all. This is very worrying. Felt that I shouldn't even have chosen to do an artwork based on my life at all. Already I've trouble expressing my life to others and yet now, I need to illustrate it. Now you know why I so peng after Art. HAIS!
Saturday, March 7, 2009, 11:35:00 PM
The lucky me, bought the one and only CD available from HMV! It's perfection. :D They also not bad looking right. :)) I've changed my blog song to (I just) died in your arms, a cover by Faber Drive. On a side note- Every song I post up on my blog, has an underlying meaning to it. It reflects the feelings I'm having right now. I went to SMU open house today. SMU guys are hot, especially from the school of Accountancy. =X It's too bad that I'm not intending to go there. Hopefully, NUS and NTU have even more better looking ones. :D Alrights la, beauty is from the inside and not from the outside.
Anyways, they were too hot that I only wanted to stay 30 mins in that building lor. Since year 1, I've been wanting to get a degree in NUS geography. Yet, recently I've been thinking of a degree from Philosophy (weired, I know), Sociology, Economics, teaching degree in Art and just today SMU law school. Thankfully, I've still have one more year to make up my mind.
Went for Youth service this evening. The pastor was still preaching on the relationship series! Looks like it never ends. I also gave my thanks to Jesus for granting my birthday wish. Since it has been granted, I can say out my wish already. I wished for a miracle and a miracle he gave yesterday. Well, like the saying goes "with God all things are possible!"
By the way, I am loving no one right now. Honestly, I think I'm cursed. Three times, the same exact thing happened to me. Guess this is what they say "what goes around, comes around." I had been punished three fold. And maybe there will be a fourth, a fifth and so on and on more times. Although I've got someone in mind, doubt I'll do anything about it. I will just leave it as it is. I am very afraid that the same thing would happen again. I don't need to add on to my heartbreaks. It sounds very rubbish but when you are actually the one feeling the pain, you'll understand. Looking at the bright side, that's a good thing. After all my studies should be my priority this year. :D
Thursday, March 5, 2009, 8:47:00 PM
School has been rather slack this week, but it's defo not going to be for next week. I've already got a line of homework for me to complete this weekend and also an Economics test on Monday. I've gotten back my General Paper, Economics and Geography paper already. Manage to scrape through GP and got the same marks for Economics and Geography. From an optimist point of view, considering the fact that it was all last minute study, my results are good. While, from a pessimist point of view, I'm so close yet so far from my target. I'm going to start pure studying for mid year very soon. I don't want to see that same number again. If my Art paper come back that same mark, I peng lor! For now, I'll try to be contented with it. (: My tennis lesson is starting tomorrow night! :D Tomorrow I'm also getting my H1 results. If I said I'm not worried, then I am lying. Although I have mentally prepared myself for a fail in math, but honestly I'm hoping for a miracle to happen. Dear Lord, please give this girl who is unlucky 365 days of her life a break tomorrow. I really don't know what will happen next. Yet, whatever happens, happens. There's nothing I can do to change the past. But, I can mould my future. (: What are my dreams? What are my goals? I need to find my directions in life...
By the way, I'm thinking of signing up for a Ballet course in May. Surprising right. I just want to try everything when I'm still young. And not wait till the day when I'm old already then regret not trying anything when I have a chance to. (: SATURDAY, 28 February.Here it is as promised. Met up with Fandy, Chan Chan, Darwina, Hong, Lincoln and Fathi-land to hang out in town and also because we're too bored staying at home! It's also good to celebrate the finish of common test. :) Had our dinner at Marina Square before going over to the Esplanade outdoor theatre for some music. That was until it rained. Oh wells, had loads of fun cam whoring.
Monday, March 2, 2009, 11:21:00 PM
Knowing myself better. :))I did this quiz on http://www.quizbox.com/personality/test82.aspx, it's interesting and scarily true. You should go try it. Your view on yourself:
You are down-to-earth and people like you because you are so straightforward. You are an efficient problem solver because you will listen to both sides of an argument before making a decision that usually appeals to both parties. The type of girlfriend/boyfriend you are looking for:You like serious, smart and determined people. You don't judge a book by its cover, so good-looking people aren't necessarily your style. This makes you an attractive person in many people's eyes. Your readiness to commit to a relationship:You are ready to commit as soon as you meet the right person. And you believe you will pretty much know as soon as you might that person. The seriousness of your love:You are very serious about relationships and aren't interested in wasting time with people you don't really like. If you meet the right person, you will fall deeply and beautifully in love. Your views on education:You may not like to study but you have many practical ideas. You listen to your own instincts and tend to follow your heart, so you will probably end up with an unusual job. The right job for you:You're a practical person and will choose a secure job with a steady income. Knowing what you like to do is important. Find a regular job doing just that and you'll be set for life. How do you view success:You are afraid of failure and scared to have a go at the career you would like to have in case you don't succeed. Don't give up when you haven't yet even started! Be courageous. What are you most afraid of: You are afraid of having no one to rely on in times of trouble. You don't ever want to be unable to take care of yourself. Independence is important to you. Who is your true self:You are mature, reasonable, honest and give good advice. People ask for your comments on all sorts of different issues. Sometimes you might find yourself in a dilemma when trapped with a problem, which your heart rather than your head needs to solve. (The last sentence is so true.)*Will blog about Saturday's happenings in my next post.
Sunday, March 1, 2009, 10:16:00 PM
Today's Newton Active Run was awesome. I've completed the run in around 1 hour 15 minutes. That is a 10 minutes improvement from my previous marathon. Running today was also so much easier and my legs didn't hurt that much. Soon, I might be able to finish 10km in an hour already. (: Anyways, I am down with a very bad runny nose. Side effects from the run? I'll most probably give school a miss tomorrow. Also, I've decided to go for the nose spray treatment for my sinus. The tablets aren't working at all and my sinus is getting worst everyday. I'm off to rest now. I'll update about yesterday another day. Goodnights.
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Affiliates.
Alicia ♥
CY ♥
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Credits.
Icon : Deviantart.
Layout : iPaperhearts
Quote : Twilight Saga.
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