I'm bored. Who wants to go out and play?
It was just you and me. |
There wasn't anymore reason.
Before you, my life was like a moonless night.
Very dark, but there were stars — points of light and reason. And then you shot across my sky like a meteor. Suddenly everything was on fire; there was brilliancy, there was beauty. When you were gone, when the meteor had fallen over the horizon, everything went black. Nothing had changed, but my eyes were blinded by the light. I couldn't see the stars anymore. And there was no more reason for anything. - Edward Cullen to Bella. |
Profile. ♥GRACE 03 02 1990 |
Posting.
Saturday, August 30, 2008, 1:37:00 PM
I'm bored. Who wants to go out and play? Friday, August 29, 2008, 9:44:00 PM
For this one whole horrible week I have been blogging all about my problems and grievances, so decided that I should blog something of a happier value today and just for today forget all my problems. Teachers Day celebration was not bad, had geography lessons right after the celebration and went out with classmates to meet Wei Liang and had lunch together. Took 506 home and slept all the way, went home and slept somemore. Although holidays are finally here, it still feels the same. My whole of next week is all packed up with Art lessons and consultations. Now who says studying Art was easy. Audrey finally has her own place to run about. At least she doesn't need to be locked up in the cage anymore. Audrey has grown so much more bigger as compared to when she first arrived and it is only 1 month. In a few more months, she will be a beautiful grown up girl. Did I tell you Audrey has the most beautiful eye lashes I have ever seen, I am so jealous. Ahahas. Today is my 'birthday'. Hahas. It is kind of amusing that quite a number of people actually wished me happy birthday. Even though you guys almost freak out knowing it isn't my actual birthday, but at least you made me happy and I really laughed alot too. So my dear lizard, when are you going to wish your Cinderella 'happy birthday'? Fairy godmother and the Wall has already wished me. Last year, we had lots of fun cleaning up the mess in the hall didn't we? Carolyn and I had a competition to see who swept the most rubbish. We were like snatching all the rubbish on the floor and sweeping our hearts away. Last year teacher's day theme was fairytale and the SC's had to wear crown on their head. I was one of those few interns then who had the crown and I was wearing it. Then there was this one moment where I was so caught up sweeping that I didn't even hear them calling me. Then it was from Grace to Cinderella. From then on, I became Cinderella, Carolyn my fairygodmother, Sabrina the mouse who degraded to a wall and Darwina the lizard. Ahahas. All these may sound like some childish rubbish, but this is one of my most precious memories I treasure so dearly and one of the best moments in life I ever experienced. For this one whole year, these are the people who caught me when I fall, these are the people who made my life so much more happier, they are the ones who gave my life another meaning to live for. One year has passed, my cinderella story scene has yet to come, but to be able to keep this story alive for one whole year and still going, it is beyond my wildest dreams. For my 'birthday' wishes, 1) I wish that Sabrina will get promoted soon, but first you got to stop taking my fairygodmother's wand. 2) All of us to be happy. We all have our happily ever after endings. Just that it taking a long time to arrive. But this makes the wait all the more worthwhile, doesn't it? 3) Fairy godmother, where is my Cinderella Story Scene? Ahahas. I am one happy 'birthday girl' today. Oh wells, Happy birthday to me and many more to come. Before I end my post, just to inform you I have just uploaded my belated Wednesday post too. The pictures are all with that post. Enjoys and Smiles people! Thursday, August 28, 2008, 10:12:00 PM
Because I am leaving tomorrow, I am not going to bother all the fuck that had happened today. It was just yesterday, where I had finally calmed myself down, thought through all my problems and decided to move on with life, that all these fucking shit come out again. I have never been so angry before in my life. So what if I am nice, that doesn't give any of you the right to take advantage of my niceness or even bully me. I saw through some people faces today, it is no wonder they say, do not judge a book by its cover. For every thing given to me, I put in my 101% effort and try to help out in whatever there need to be, and for every single help I give, it is already bad enough that you guys don't appreciate my help, but scolding me, you are heartless. I was asked to take down names for people who wants to have dinner. This is not my job at all, I am not even in the food committee, on top of that I still had my prize giving duties. But nevermind, I still helped out. I got the names down, and somehow, the list got screwed by the interns and I got fucking scolded and blame for just because you guys can't have your dinner. I AM NOT OBLIGED TO GET YOU YOUR DINNER! YOU NEED TO EAT, DOES THAT MEAN I DON'T HAVE TO! I AM SO DISAPPOINTED! Nevermind bout that, I got my friends to help you get the food, and not one thank you I even got from you guys! All you guys did was just keep calling on my handphone asking me bout your dinner! Hello, I was so busy to even order dinner for myself, you scolded me for a mistake and now I have to get you your dinner?!? I had my duties to do too. I didn't even had any time to eat only until now! I don't care who reads my blog, I don't care if you are going to start bitching about me and stuff, I don't care about anything anymore. My life is screwed up anyway! I just want to get out of that place ASAP and make things right again! Wednesday, August 27, 2008, 7:48:00 PM
Did not go to school today. Feeling so much more better after catching up with lots of sleep. Came to a conclusion over my problems: "Life is a roller coaster, so just get alive and live with it!" -As quoted by Grace- From now onwards, I am NOT going to live my life for others anymore! I am going to once and for all live life for myself. I am going to be happy for myself. I am going to start creating hopes and dreams for myself. The rest, we will just wait and see. In the fairytale, Cinderella had a happily ever after ending. It is just too bad, my life is not a fairytale. In my Cinderella scene, I have a fairy godmother who dote on me, I have a fairy godfather who is very funny, I have a mouse who was degraded to a wall who is always by my side and the lizard right here to catch me when I fall. The last thing I ever need right now is someone who will only hurt me. I have the whole world here waiting for me to love for and be happy. Clay Models If rainbows are round, then where is the pot of gold? I walked past happy avenue central, why does my heart still feel so heavy and my smile won't appear? Ain't I suppose to be happy? Fireworks Festival 2008. Too bad that I missed out on the French Performance, which was claimed to be so much more better than the Korean Performance. It does'nt really matter, because all fireworks are beautiful to me. Can I have one of those on my birthday please? I wished. Tuesday, August 26, 2008, 10:32:00 PM
I am no longer that nice, thoughtful, forgiving and easy to take advantage Grace you all once knew. I have changed. For the worst or better? It's up to you to judge. Another few stuff happened today, and it really adds up to my pain. I have made my decision already, will definitely be leaving right after Teacher's Day. I have already been hurt till I have lost myself, there's no point sharing my problems, or even blogging on what had happened. I am just going to keep continue running away from reality. I am void of hopes, faith and dreams. I am just someone whom I don't even recognise anymore. Thanks to the people who have been by my side. Just give up. Monday, August 25, 2008, 9:52:00 PM
I don't have to explain how I felt today, everyone could tell for themselves. I took the longest time to reach home today, I didn't felt like going home at all, because all I will do is lock myself up in my room and cry. Sabrina, Ashley and I were supposed to take bus 8. I don't know how we ended up walking from Potong Pasir all the way home. The 1 1/2 hr of walk was very adventurous and funny, it was my happiest time I spent for today. There was this toilet joke that ashley made us believed, then they was this dark area where Sabrina screamed and I followed too out of fear. End up it was all because of a lizard. We walked past places which we often fail to notice in our busy life. To take a bus home, I will never have this experience to learn so much more. At the end, I reached home feeling so much more lightened. I have been playing a game of hide and seek with reality. Once again reality has found me. If only I could hide forever, because it hurts so much. I am just a girl who lost all her smiles. Sunday, August 24, 2008, 9:11:00 PM
I am very fustrated, angry, or what-so-ever you want to describe it! I don't give it a damn! I don't feel like going school tomorrow, or even the day after next. I want to run away from reality. I don't know how to face it anymore. Thanks Sabrina and Shaqirah for listening and trying to understand me. I am tired of playing the roles for others. I just want to be myself. Don't I at least deserve that! I may be nice, but I have an attitude too. I may be forgiving, but my tolerance has a limit too. Stop playing games with me! Please stop making use of me! All I ever ask for, is just to be happy, is that too much to ask for. Is all my struggles to just be happy, to make my life better all useless? Then tell me lord, I will stop trying and live with it as it is. I need reassurance, I need encouragment, I need a shoulder to cry on, I need someone to listen to my cries. I want someone to care. I want someone to understand me, but give me time to open up myself. You know me as a girl who is trying very hard to face up to her life and make the best out of it. You know me as a girl who will still smile even though life sucks big time! But do you know that as much as I want to be happy, I am the one giving myself all the pressure, I am the one pulling myself back. I don't have any confidence in myself. I don't trust myself. Surprising huh? I am very afraid. Saturday, August 23, 2008, 11:13:00 AM
There was so many things happening yesterday, and in the end, I flared up. I had a good talk with Sabrina and Fathi after that. At least I have gotten rid some of my bottled-up troubles and felt much better ater the talk. It is kind of true that one will feel so much more better just talking out one's problems to someone. The sad thing is I am not the kind of girl, who can just easily share my problems with anyone, even my close friends. I am struggling hard to keep myself happy, really trying very hard. It is just reality that for every one happy moment, there will be 10 sad moments. I don't want to accept reality this way, be it 10 sad moments or a hundred sad moments I have to go through, I want to face it with happiness. It is definitely going to be hard, I am not sure how to do so yet, but as long as I try, at least I will know something good may come out of it. I will continue updating my blog later on. I have to meet Darwina for the fireworks festival. Didn't catch it yesterday, and after contempleting for so long, I finally decided to go for today's. I am not sure, if I will be able to enjoy the firework displays with my current mood. Hopefully I would. I'm the type of girl that can be so hurt but can still look at you and smile. The type of girl who is willing to brighten you day even if I can't brighten my own. Thursday, August 21, 2008, 10:41:00 PM
I love you, I really do. Tuesday, August 19, 2008, 10:57:00 PM
I have been very sleepy and tired throughout today. Still in my really crazy mood and coming up with very lame nonsense. I have played enough, it is time to be serious again. I have lots of work to catch up on. Today I have been called "gong" four times and "stupid" don't know how many times, I lost count. HAIS! I better start practicing very very hard for my math. Off to sleep, nights. Monday, August 18, 2008, 8:56:00 PM
School was very boring today. I didn't do anything productive during lessons today. For Geography and Economics it was test, while for Art just sat at my table throughout the whole lesson and draw. I was very fustrated during my 3 periods break. Everyone was busy studying for their POA test, while I didn't have anything to do. It ended with me sleeping. Internship has started, and I totally hate it! HAIS. Today has been a very bad day for me. Nevermind, tomorrow will be a better day. I hope. Made a new friend by accidental in the bus today. The whole bus ride home was a crazy one for me. I couldn't stop laughing at my own silly nonsense. There was this one time, I even laughed till I cried. Tears of joy? I am not sure myself. I do know, behind all my laughters I did felt sad. No matter how difficult it takes for me to be happy, I will still keep this promise to myself. (: The Mountains "A son and his father were walking on the mountains. Suddenly, his son falls, hurts himself and screams: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!" To his surprise, he hears the voice repeating, somewhere in the mountain: "AAAhhhhhhhhhhh!!!" Curious, he yells: "Who are you?" He receives the answer: "Who are you?" And then he screams to the mountain: "I admire you!" The voice answers: "I admire you!" Angered at the response, he screams: "Coward!" He receives the answer: "Coward!" He looks to his father and asks: "What's going on?" The father smiles and says: "My son, pay attention." Again the man screams: "You are a champion!" The voice answers: "You are a champion!" The boy is surprised, but does not understand. Then the father explains: "People call this ECHO, but really this is LIFE. It gives you back everything you say or do. Our life is simply a reflection of our actions. If you want more love in the world, create more love in your heart. If you want more competence in your team, improve your competence. This relationship applies to everything, in all aspects of life; Life will give you back everything you have given to it." Remember, Your Life is not a coincidence. It's a reflection of you! Sunday, August 17, 2008, 9:56:00 PM
No matter what happens, I am going to be the happiest girl in this world. (: 10 Commandments of Dog Ownership 1. Listen patiently to what I say. 2. Trust me, for I am always by your side. 3. Talk to me sometimes. Even if I don't understand your words, I do understand your voice when it is speaking to me. 4. Don’t forget that I have feelings too. 5. Remember before you hit me that I have teeth that could easily crush the bones of your hand but that I choose not to bite you. 6. If I don’t obey you, I have a good reason. 7. You have school and friends, but as for me, I only have you. 8. Stay as my best friend even when I’m old. 9. I’ll only live for ten years, so let’s make every moment count 10. I’ll never forget the life together. So when the time comes, remember I’ll always be by your side. These 10 commandments are very touching right. When I first read it online yesterday, it brought tears into my eyes. I am going to love Audrey so much more and cherish her with everything I have. (: Woke up very early in the morning, met up with Darwina at Bedok Stadium to run. By the end of the whole running training session, I completed 5.6km! I am so proud of myself. This 5.6km maybe just a short distance, but it has been ages since I last exercised, to be able to complete this distance within my timing range is not bad for me already. Hahas. After the whole running, I have never felt so much more better. Now I am going to continue this training and my target- by the end of september, 5.6km must be a breeze for me already. I can do it! Wohooo! :D Friday, August 15, 2008, 9:51:00 PM
Wohoo! After so many hours of editing, my new blogskin is finally perfected. Although it is very tiring and my eyes are already popping out soon, the sense of accomplishment I get is unexplainable. I am happy. (: Thursday, August 14, 2008, 11:25:00 PM
There is only one happiness in life: to love and be loved. Wednesday, August 13, 2008, 9:33:00 PM
Today, school is the same as usual. I am still that happy me. Finally did some self-exercising after so long. I have lots to say, but as always, I don't know how to put them into words. So, nevermind. Singapore's Fireworks Festival is on next friday and saturday. Really want to go and watch the fireworks display. But, not sure if I am attending it yet. Will see as time goes. The Salty Coffee He met her on a party, she was so outstanding, many guys chasing after her,while he was so normal, nobody paid attention to him. At the end of the party, he invited her to have coffee with him, she was surprised, but due to politeness, she promised. They sat in a nice coffee shop, he was too nervous to say anything, she felt uncomfortable, she thought, please, let me back home. Suddenly he asked the waiter: would you please give me some salt? I'd like to put it in my coffee. Everybody stared at him, so strange! His face turned red, but, still, he put the salt in his coffee and drank it. She asked him curiously: why you have this hobby? He replied: when I was a little boy, I was living near the sea, I like playing in the sea, I could felt the taste of the sea, salty and bite, just like the taste of the salty coffee. Now every time I have the salty coffee, I will think of my childhood, think of my hometown, I miss my hometown so much, I miss my parents who still living there. Saying that, tears filled his eyes. She was deeply touched. That's his true feeling, from the bottom of his heart. "A man who can tell out his homesick, he must be a man loves home, cares about home, has responsibility of home," she thought. Then she also started to talk, talked about her faraway hometown, her childhood, her family. That was a really nice talk, also a beautiful beginning of their story. They continue to date. She found actually he was a man who meets all her demands: he was tolerance, kind hearted, warm, careful...he was such a good guy but she almost missed him! Thanks to his salty coffee! Then the story was just like every beautiful love story: the princess married to the prince, then they were living the happy life...And, every time she made coffee for him, she put some salt in the coffee, as she knew that's the way he liked. After 40 years, he passed away, left her a letter which said: "My dearest, please forgive me, forgive my whole life lie. This was the only lie I said to you, the salty coffee. Remember the first time we dated? I was so nervous at that time, actually I wanted some sugar, but I said salt. It's hard for me to change so I just go ahead. I never thought that could be the start of our communication! I tried to tell you the truth many times in my life, but I was too afraid to do that, as I have promised not to lie to you for anything..Now I'm dying, I afraid of nothing so I tell you the truth: I don't like the salty coffee, what a strange bad taste..but I have the salty coffee for my whole life since I knew you, I never feel sorry for anything I do for you. Having you with me is my biggest happiness for my whole life. If I can live for the second time, I still want to know you and have you as my whole life wife, even though I have to drink the salty coffee again." Her tears made the letter totally wet. Someday, someone asked her: What's the taste of salty coffee? It's sweet. She replied. Tuesday, August 12, 2008, 10:56:00 PM
I am one happy unlucky girl! Ahahas. Overslept this morning and was almost late for school. While playing badminton during P.E, I fell. As usual it is always my right leg that gets injured. My poor swollen knee and ankle. No worries, I'm sure it will heal tomorrow and I will be jumping around again. Hahas. During night study, Darwina and Fariz were doing something and before I know it, a cup of cereal drink spilled onto me. Hais! Just my luck. Hahas! However, there were also many happy things that happened today. You know, in life, just by stopping and enjoying that moment, I am able to appreciate and love my life so much more. So, even if today I am the world's most unluckiest girl, I am still one lucky girl to be able to appreciate and love life more than before. (: One day, you will understand too. Monday, August 11, 2008, 9:29:00 PM
PICTURES! (: Audrey and I on the way to the vet yesterday. *NDP outing pictures. I call this the constrating picture. Hahas. The drink that I 'forced' everyone to finish it. *Other pictures. I woke up early in the morning today and told myself ' last day of the short holiday and I MUST enjoy myself and be happy today'. I guess, sometimes attitude determines everything. This encouragement that I give myself has never failed me. The only sad thing is, I only give myself such encouragements once in a blue moon. In the afternoon, someone made me very angry again. But, I made a promise to be happy today, so I shall be a kind and forgiving soul (as always). Ha has. I won't be blogging bout what happened lest it dampen any of my mood now. Went walking around Parkway alone today. Did some shopping, developed the photographs, finally ate Mos Burger after craving for it so long and went grocery shopping for my chocolate ingredients. And yes, I made chocolates! Dark chocolates this time round, because I prefer so. Hahas. The weired thing about me is that I rarely eat the chocolates that I make. Went to borders to check out some books. There a book "An Hour to Live, An Hour to Love" caught my eye. I breeze through the pages and it is a beautiful story worth reading. 'You will be remembered most not from your accomplishment, but for how well you lived and how much love you carried in your heart.' This is one important thing I have learnt from the book. If you have an hour to live, what will you do, who will you call and what will you say? In life, we often face with such questions. We all know that life is short, we cannot escape death. We have to cherish life to the fullest and not regret not doing anything. If I have an hour to live and an hour to love, I know what I will do, I know whom to call and I know what I will say. The only answer I don't know is- why wait for that hour? |
Rants. | |
Pasts. May 2007. June 2007. July 2007. August 2007. September 2007. October 2007. November 2007. December 2007. January 2008. February 2008. March 2008. April 2008. May 2008. June 2008. July 2008. August 2008. September 2008. October 2008. November 2008. December 2008. January 2009. February 2009. March 2009. April 2009. May 2009. June 2009. July 2009. August 2009. September 2009. October 2009. November 2009. December 2009. January 2010. February 2010. March 2010. June 2010. July 2010. August 2010. September 2010. November 2010. February 2011. |
Affiliates. Alicia ♥ CY ♥ Charissa ♥ Chia Sin ♥ Darwina ♥ Diana ♥ Dinesh ♥ Emerlyn ♥ Ian ♥ Jia Wen ♥ Munirah ♥ Michelle ♥ Maxime ♥ Qiao Ying ♥ Sabrina ♥ Sheng De ♥ Sherril ♥ Shikin ♥ Shilah ♥ Victoria ♥ Wan Yu ♥ Wei Liang ♥ Yi Min ♥ Zhi Wei ♥
|
Credits. Icon : Deviantart. Layout : iPaperhearts Quote : Twilight Saga. |