Dear darlings,
Spent the whole day re-painting the house, it is fun but tiring at the same time too.
Ordered pastamania for dinner. It is quite surprising as I don't fancy pastamania, thanks to the horrible food I ate before on my first visit there.
Few hours back, I found out something. Thanks for those who were concerned and thanks for your comfort. It made me realised, my foolishness. I thank god for making me realise it, for I will be still stuck in my foolishness till today. I have seen Hoang true colours, and it is indeed shocking. It is so unbelivable. I didn't know he needs more than 8 months to realise he made the wrong. He needs more than 8 months to realise he used me, for what? I don't know. He needs more than 8 months to realise that I wasn't the one for him. You know what, thats simply rubbish to me. It is simply excuses to cover up the 8 mths of effort he put in place just to realise all this.
I won't shed a tear for a guy worst than a beast. He isn't worth my love at all. His lies, his actions, his stupidity, his character, everything that had happened, just makes me stronger than before. I thank you for that. But still a leopard will never change its spots won't it. I thought you changed to a better person but I was wrong. But, its your life, not mine. The one who will be suffering next time is you, not me.
I can't deny that I am angry, I can't deny that after finding out all his rubbish I don't feel hurt at all. I feel pity for all my efforts put into every single relationship. I feel sorry for gary- because of hoang, everything changed, didn't it.
There is this beautiful red book that I handmade and decorate everything by myself that I pity the most. It is a book of my efforts, i love that book so much, but I doubt I could ever see it again.
I really hated that day when I gave him a 2nd chance. I really hated him for coming back to me after we broke up, I hate myself for giving him a chance again! All that you are telling Jamie now, was all that I heard from you last time. If only I had let go the first time, if only I hadn't decide to meet you again, my life would have been perfect. I can't believe a guy who went through the trouble of begging me for a 2nd chance said all these.
I shall just forget it! It is wasting my braincells and shortening my life just by getting angry with this stuff. I shall take it that all my efforts and sacrifices was given to a nobody. By the end of this post, I shall forget every single thing that had ever happened. I shall be happy once again, living my life carefree-ly.
At least knowing all these stuffs finally put an end to my past. Finally I can bury my past, my regrets, and most importantly, getting back "myself" which I had lost for a long time.
Finally, I could write out my past for people to read. Though not every detail is there, but at least it is not kept in my heart anymore. I will move on. Qiaoying asked me if I still believe in love? My answer is yes.
Love is the greatest thing in the world, and it will always exists in every single one of us without fail.
I took 1 hour to type this post, sorry for making you all read such a boring long post. I just feel that typing out my feelings makes me feel better and I will forgot everything that I had typed out here. I am serious! My mind is a blank right now, and I feel very very happy and my heart feels light. I guess this heavy burden of mine has been buried far far away. Hahas.
I am so happy that I want to share my prayer with everyone!
Thank you god for releasing my burden and giving me strength these past months. You never forsake me in times of need. You were always there for me. Today, 17 december, I am a cheerful girl again. I am very very happy. This is indeed a blessing in disguise. Even though after all these that had happened, I guess I will still forgive him, not because I want to. But, because you taught me to. I will always remember the greatest commandement of all and the next commandment closest to it. I will always remember the phrase" love your enemies as your friends." With love, comes peace. With peace there is smiles on every single person faces! Thank you father for every single thing.
In the name of jesus I pray, Amen.
Spent the whole day re-painting the house, it is fun but tiring at the same time too.
Ordered pastamania for dinner. It is quite surprising as I don't fancy pastamania, thanks to the horrible food I ate before on my first visit there.
Few hours back, I found out something. Thanks for those who were concerned and thanks for your comfort. It made me realised, my foolishness. I thank god for making me realise it, for I will be still stuck in my foolishness till today. I have seen Hoang true colours, and it is indeed shocking. It is so unbelivable. I didn't know he needs more than 8 months to realise he made the wrong. He needs more than 8 months to realise he used me, for what? I don't know. He needs more than 8 months to realise that I wasn't the one for him. You know what, thats simply rubbish to me. It is simply excuses to cover up the 8 mths of effort he put in place just to realise all this.
I won't shed a tear for a guy worst than a beast. He isn't worth my love at all. His lies, his actions, his stupidity, his character, everything that had happened, just makes me stronger than before. I thank you for that. But still a leopard will never change its spots won't it. I thought you changed to a better person but I was wrong. But, its your life, not mine. The one who will be suffering next time is you, not me.
I can't deny that I am angry, I can't deny that after finding out all his rubbish I don't feel hurt at all. I feel pity for all my efforts put into every single relationship. I feel sorry for gary- because of hoang, everything changed, didn't it.
There is this beautiful red book that I handmade and decorate everything by myself that I pity the most. It is a book of my efforts, i love that book so much, but I doubt I could ever see it again.
I really hated that day when I gave him a 2nd chance. I really hated him for coming back to me after we broke up, I hate myself for giving him a chance again! All that you are telling Jamie now, was all that I heard from you last time. If only I had let go the first time, if only I hadn't decide to meet you again, my life would have been perfect. I can't believe a guy who went through the trouble of begging me for a 2nd chance said all these.
I shall just forget it! It is wasting my braincells and shortening my life just by getting angry with this stuff. I shall take it that all my efforts and sacrifices was given to a nobody. By the end of this post, I shall forget every single thing that had ever happened. I shall be happy once again, living my life carefree-ly.
At least knowing all these stuffs finally put an end to my past. Finally I can bury my past, my regrets, and most importantly, getting back "myself" which I had lost for a long time.
Finally, I could write out my past for people to read. Though not every detail is there, but at least it is not kept in my heart anymore. I will move on. Qiaoying asked me if I still believe in love? My answer is yes.
Love is the greatest thing in the world, and it will always exists in every single one of us without fail.
I took 1 hour to type this post, sorry for making you all read such a boring long post. I just feel that typing out my feelings makes me feel better and I will forgot everything that I had typed out here. I am serious! My mind is a blank right now, and I feel very very happy and my heart feels light. I guess this heavy burden of mine has been buried far far away. Hahas.
I am so happy that I want to share my prayer with everyone!
Thank you god for releasing my burden and giving me strength these past months. You never forsake me in times of need. You were always there for me. Today, 17 december, I am a cheerful girl again. I am very very happy. This is indeed a blessing in disguise. Even though after all these that had happened, I guess I will still forgive him, not because I want to. But, because you taught me to. I will always remember the greatest commandement of all and the next commandment closest to it. I will always remember the phrase" love your enemies as your friends." With love, comes peace. With peace there is smiles on every single person faces! Thank you father for every single thing.
In the name of jesus I pray, Amen.
