Dear darlings,
Sorry for the many broken promises of uploading of pictures and continuing of post, I just don't have the mood to do any of it yet.
Lady Luck has not been shining at me , and life seriously sucks. I could complain all over again, how life is being unfair to me, how GOD is unfair by torturing me with all these obstacles. But this time, as I start complaining again, Carolyn's words will sound in my head. " You are a child of God, and God loves all his children , how can God be the one putting you through all these tortures."
With these words and the rememberance of a story "footsteps", I feel much more at ease. God believes I can pull through these obstacles no matter how hard it is, and I believe God is always there walking it through with me. I need to have faith. It will be difficult and painful, but as long as I never give up trying, there will be a day I will really really be happy and let out my first true smile.
This few weeks, you can often hear me calling myself the most unluckiest girl ever, or the most weiredest and silliest girl ever. I am the most unluckiest, the most weiredest and the most silliest girl, but so what? I AM UNIQUE in my own way. Hahas.
Since just now, I have been asking my heart...and I realise...
How silly I will be every single time he is near me.
How silly of me being tongue-tied everytime we talk.
How silly of me not grabbing any chances given to me.
How silly of me just wanting to love him from afar.
I have always believe and told people, " it is not failures that one should fear, but REGRETS! and If I never try, I will never know the result!" And I know for sure, I don't want to have any regrets anymore in my life, but what is this fear I have right now?
I do not want to love him from afar anymore, I do not want to hide my feelings anymore, I do not want to be just happy because he is happy, I do not want to pretend that I don't care and I don't want to be contented just by looking at his back wishing how many times I could have just sit next to him and talk to him.
Why? It's because I really really love him alot.
I want the courage to love! I need to believe in myself. After all, if I never try, I would never know right. (:
Sorry for the many broken promises of uploading of pictures and continuing of post, I just don't have the mood to do any of it yet.
Lady Luck has not been shining at me , and life seriously sucks. I could complain all over again, how life is being unfair to me, how GOD is unfair by torturing me with all these obstacles. But this time, as I start complaining again, Carolyn's words will sound in my head. " You are a child of God, and God loves all his children , how can God be the one putting you through all these tortures."
With these words and the rememberance of a story "footsteps", I feel much more at ease. God believes I can pull through these obstacles no matter how hard it is, and I believe God is always there walking it through with me. I need to have faith. It will be difficult and painful, but as long as I never give up trying, there will be a day I will really really be happy and let out my first true smile.
This few weeks, you can often hear me calling myself the most unluckiest girl ever, or the most weiredest and silliest girl ever. I am the most unluckiest, the most weiredest and the most silliest girl, but so what? I AM UNIQUE in my own way. Hahas.
Since just now, I have been asking my heart...and I realise...
How silly I will be every single time he is near me.
How silly of me being tongue-tied everytime we talk.
How silly of me not grabbing any chances given to me.
How silly of me just wanting to love him from afar.
I have always believe and told people, " it is not failures that one should fear, but REGRETS! and If I never try, I will never know the result!" And I know for sure, I don't want to have any regrets anymore in my life, but what is this fear I have right now?
I do not want to love him from afar anymore, I do not want to hide my feelings anymore, I do not want to be just happy because he is happy, I do not want to pretend that I don't care and I don't want to be contented just by looking at his back wishing how many times I could have just sit next to him and talk to him.
Why? It's because I really really love him alot.
I want the courage to love! I need to believe in myself. After all, if I never try, I would never know right. (: