Friday:
Time passed really fast.
Did the martial arts demonstration in the morning.
Surprisingly, listened throughout the whole maths lesson for the first time.
Had amazing time after school tasting the food from the different races with classmates.
Was inspired by my BFF hardworking-ness, so took out my math homework and did it for the first time this year, and the rest followed as if like a chain effect. Hahas.
Went for the Indian Dance workshop.
So glad that I went before joining it as a CCA, cause I am so not going to.
Maybe Dragonboating would be a much better choice as compared to Indian Dance.
I'm not sure though. I fear the waters. I just want a CCA!
Saturday:
Went to Jurong East and met up with the rest of the RCR group for rock-climbing.
It was AWESOME and enjoyed myself.
Made some new friends too.
Aherm* The rose among the thorns.
After from much persuasion from Hafiz,
Left halfway to meet up with Hafiz, Jack and Adilah at JE MRT station.
It was supposed to be a math study session with Hafiz and me.
It ended up TOTALLY SCREWED!
If I had known, you were just playing with me, I would have just went to west coast with the RCR group and enjoyed myself over there.
However, I had lots of fun talking to Jack and Adilah during the trainride. (:
After wasting my time, making me tug all my maths stuff and you backing out in the last minute, I am so not going to forgive you for that. I swear. Don't ever bother asking me to go out studying with you or teaching you anything anymore. Everytime I do, you waste my time.
Sometimes, I wonder, whats the point of being someone nice? No one appreciates it anyway, to make matters worst being bullied for being nice! What the hell?
And when my tolerance reaches its breaking point, thats it!
Everyone has an ugly side to them and I swear you would'nt want to see mine.
I am going to be more firm from now on.
Anyways continuing on yesterday events.
Went to Parkway in the night to meet with my sister.
While waiting for her, I went walking in the rain.
I just felt like doing so.
One thousand and one things were running through my head.
I was fustrated and so lost.
Did some studying with her at McCafe.
Finished studying the whole market failure notes.
I am proud of myself.
Today:
Was supposed to go to Suntec and check up the Scholarships and American Universities education fair, but I ended up being too lazy. Anyway, there is still next year. I have been thinking of an overseas university education in America for the longest time, but I have yet to talk to my parents about it.
Went to SPCA in the afternoon. Our family is going to have a pet dog, so we were thinking of adopting it from there. As we went around closing time, there were'nt much choices left. But what left an impression on us is the 2 Siberian Huskies, a male and a female. One black and white while the other brown and white. However, they have to be adopted together!
If it weren't for the little time left, we would have 2 new family members already. My parents may be going down to SPCA tomorrow and get those 2 puppies. Can you believe it? Its like eveything is happening so suddenly. We have never had any experience in taking care of dogs before and yet we are going to adopt 2 at one time. Aww, we will see as time goes. (:
UPDATES!
Went down to my grandparents home to celebrate my grandpa 78th birthday. They are my favourite grandparents and maybe hold much more importance to me as compared to anyone else. From young, they were the ones taking care of me, to see them age that much, it is kind of sad. My grandma even forgot my name in one instance. They are the best kind of grandparents anyone can get and I love them very much.
I think something is seriously wrong with me. Why am I so crazy, screwing up my love life. This whole week seems to be some lucky or maybe unlucky week where people come talking to me about love. I have been wishing for my whole life for prince charming to come. I have been wishing for a day where a guy will love me first and profess their love to me.
Prince Charmings have arrived, and professed their love. But, I feel nothing at all. That's because they aren't the person that I love so much.
I know the answer very well to the puzzles of my heart. No matter how hard I try, no matter how much I need him, no matter how positively I try to think, no matter how much hope I hold inside of me, no matter how much I love him, it will be of no use. He will never have any feelings for me. Am I correct? You know best who you are, and if you don't, then you're dumb not to know.
It has been 7 months already. This 7 months, I wanted to give up so much, but I am unable to let you go. I didn't have any faith in myself, but today, I don't want to hide these feelings anymore. You are the reason why I am lost and confused. You are also the reason why I cried and smiled.
Whenever you are there right in front of me, I will always act so silly. I will suddenly be lost of words to say and be so forgetful to even remembering saying hello and bye bye to you. I cannot explain why is that so. It must have made me look so stupid infront of you. The happiest moments in my life, are the times when you talk to me.
When you were upset, lost and confused, I really wished, I could have brought smiles to your face. But I didn't. When you were disappointed with your results, u misunderstood my reply. That reply wasn't referring to your results. But I never did told you. There was so much things I wanted to say, but couldn't bring myself to say it. There was so much chances I have missed getting to know you.
Today, God has fulfilled my little prayer that I made months ago. That is having the courage to face up to love.
I love you, and all I want is just to see you smile every single day. May you one day finally find the answer to 'your happiness'.
These are the words I have been wanting to let you know. Please forget everything after reading. Take cares. (:
